Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Piranha 3DD (2012)

Directed by John Gulager

Less than a year after the little fish with razor teeth showed up in a gratuitous popcorn flick last summer, they return for more flesh nibbling in Piranha 3DD. Feast’s John Gulager replaces Alexandre Aja in the director’s chair this time around for a film that is even more over the top than its predecessor, but that is not necessarily a good thing.

Twelve months have passed since the tragedy from end of the Piranha remake as our story shifts to the opening of a new water park run by sleazy Chet (David Koechner). Chet has decided to make the water park geared more towards the mature crowd by installing the first strip club ever at a water attraction, allowing an anything goes policy. His straight and narrow daughter Maddy (Danielle Panabaker) is against the park's new direction, but has no choice but to yield to Chet’s 51% ownership opposed to her 49%. Meanwhile, our killer fish have adapted to high levels of chlorinated water after surviving in cave-like environments for many years, so they can breathe in regular chlorinated water. Of course they make their way into the park for a buffet of humans and the absurdity begins.

Overall, the film is a completely unnecessary sequel filled with an even larger amount of T&A and gory as seen in last year’s installment. It does not pick up the story from the shocking final moments of its original with the giant piranha breed and instead is more of a rehash than anything else.

The film ties into the 2011 offering simply by heavily mentioning the lake massacre and bringing back some of the cast in cameos. Christopher Lloyd returns as the nutty professor who discovers the piranha’s new evolution to adapt to highly chlorinated environments. The hilarious Paul Scheer, Jerry O’Connell’s sidekick, visits the park for a therapeutic session along with Ving Rhames, whose character but not legs survived the slaughter from part one. 

Some new characters help to make the film somewhat watchable, with Chris Zylka from last year’s Shark Night 3D, trying to survive in another aqua villain-based adventure. Katrina Bowden is usual eye candy and Matt Bush is the classic dork who yearns for Maddy’s affection. Then there is the only worth watching element of the film, David Hasselhoff parodying himself as the water park’s guest celebrity lifeguard. Hoff is hilarious and we can only hope his in-film television show gets a comedic spin-off. 

Too bad Piranha 3DD is not worthy of a trip back into the water. While the comedic elements of Hoff and returning cast members make for some brief fun, the movie lacks any bite that last year’s film provided.
If you are a fan of the fish eat human film type then why not check out LOVEFiLM who have so many survival movies including the original piranha which is available in Blu-ray 3D. 




Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I still give the first one props for not holding back on the gore!

The Man-Cave said...

Alex - I totally loved the 2011 remake as well even though it was a mixed bag for genre fans.

J. Astro said...

This shit sells itself. I like boobs and I like watching people being eaten by CGI creatures. You could tell me this is the worst goddamn thing you've ever seen and I would still buy two copies when it hits DVD. ;)

Aaron said...

I'm sure I'll check this out on DVD at some point despite the red flag that is The Hoff, but since I wasn't a fan of PIRANHA 3D in the first place I'll keep my expectations very low.

The Man-Cave said...

J - I knew you'd be willing and able to check this out. I know how much you love boobs! :)

Aaron - no matter your thoughts on the Hoff, it is the best thing about the film. However, if you hated the first one, I kindly advise to stay away. Everything is a downgrade from the original, so that's what you'd be in for.

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