Sunday, February 19, 2012

WWE Elimination Chamber 2012

Welcome to another WWE PPV review, as we round third base and heading home plate for Wrestlemania in April. Taking place from the Bradley Center in Milwaukee,'s the Elimination Chamber!! This PPV contains two instances of the deadliest match in the WWE, the Elimination Chamber - but don't they say that about all of them nowadays (Hell in a Cell, Money in the Bank, etc)? It will all culminate with Royal Rumble winner Sheamus picking the champion he will pursue at the grand daddy of them all. Well you came here for results and not commentary so let's head to the ring...

(disclaimer: last-minute added matches will not have any pictures or descriptions and only the results. Formatting on the fly while I am trying to watch the PPV is a pain)

      Raw Elimination Chamber Match
       Chris Jericho vs. The Miz vs. R-Truth vs. Kofi Kingston 
                                          vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. CM Punk (champ)

There is little to no shot of Punk walking away without the title unless Jericho takes the strap, which would simply continue to stage their long awaited feud for their (real main event of Wrestlemania) match at the big dance. Then Punk should win it back there. But the new booking of WWE has stopped the hot potato action and might ride Punk with the belt for the remainder of the year, so time will tell. The rest of the participants are also incredible and will put on a worthy match, but there is no reason for anyone here to win the gold besides the aforementioned combatants.

Entry Order: 
Punk - Kingston - Ziggler - Truth - Miz - Jericho

#1 - Punk eliminated Truth w/ Flying Elbow
#2 - Jericho eliminated Ziggler w/ Code Breaker
#3 - Jericho eliminated Kingston w/ Walls of Jericho
#4 - Punk eliminated Jericho by KO'ing him unconscious out of the cage with a kick

RESULT: Punk eliminated Miz w/ GTS to retain. Awesome match with greats spots in a match that was a surprise as being the opening match.

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: Santino dresses like Rocky and attempts to eat raw eggs in lieu of his title match. Of course, he chokes.

VIDEO SEGMENT: John Cena video shows him return to his old roots and work out at a gym. Yippee. Time could've been spent better hyping the Kings of Wrestling. 

Divas Championship
                                 Tamina Snuka vs. Beth Phoenix (champ)

Tamina has been a breath of fresh air for the stale Divas division and being a Snuka helps an awful lot as well. Too bad she is just keeping the seat warm for the inevitable Kharma against Phoenix contest at 'Mania, which will be a must-see. Here's to hoping that Tamina looks strong in her defeat so she can be a credible threat to Kharma when she is through with Phoenix. And hey...where has Kelly Kelly been?

RESULT: Phoenix retains with the Glam Slam in a shockingly fun Divas match. Yes, Tamina looked real strong in this women's match that had some real deal wrestling go down.

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: Santino continues the Rocky knock-off by "Cobra-ing" a hanging bologna in a meat locker...insert your own joke there.

IN-RING SEGMENT: Senior VP of Talent Relations and Interim GM of Raw, John Laurinaitis has a huge announcement...but as he chastises Smackdown GM Teddy Long, he is interrupted by a returning Alberto Del Rio! Del Rio thinks Johnny Boy should be permanent GM on Raw and on Smackdown. Then, Mark Henry heads to the ring, who agrees that Long has to go. The hits in this segment keep on coming..."Captain Charisma" Christian returns and concurs that Long should get the boot. David Otunga takes a group photo of this new "Team Laurinaitis".

 SmackDown Elimination Chamber Match
                     Great Khali vs. Big Show vs. Santino vs. Wade Barrett vs. 
                                      Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan (champ)

That's not a typo...I typed Santino Marella. Randy Orton's legitimate concussion injury (yes he's hurt again) and Mark Henry still on the mend leads to Santino as the replacement after winning a battle royal on this week's SmackDown. Hmmm. Khali contains the worst wrestling talent of all WWE Superstars, yet the white hot "Funkasaurus" Brodus Clay has been sidelined to work on his ring skills. Hmmm. Unless the WWE pulls a fast one, Bryan should weasel his away out of the match still the champ with Sheamus, and possibly a returning Orton seeking (kayfabe) revenge against Bryan, against the submission specialist at Wrestlemania...where he will probably drop the title. But three PPV championship wins is not too bad for the kid who was a glorified jobber before his MITB cash in at Survivor Series.

Entry Order: 
Show - Barrett - Rhodes - Marella - Khali - Bryan

#1 - Show eliminated Khali w/ a Spear
#2 - Rhodes eliminated Show after Barrett hits an elbow drop
#3 -Santino eliminated a celebrating Rhodes w/ a roll-up
#4 -Santino eliminated Barrett after Bryan hit him w/ a flying elbow
RESULT: Bryan retains with a tap out from Marella after the Lebell Lock. This match was easily the weaker of the two EC matches. At one point chanting "Boring!", the crowd caught on fire for Marella at the end, leading to a chorus of boos for Bryan. Afterwards, Sheamus came to the ring and destroyed Bryan...driving the point home that he will face Bryan at Wrestlemania.

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT: Hornswoggle is eating cheese and Natalya breaks wind. Justin Gabriel says hello to 'Swoggle, who gets harassed by Vicki Guerrero and Jack Swagger. Teddy Long breaks them up before Swagger mentions that Long should give up his GM duties. Long responds by creating an impromptu U.S. Title Match...

 U.S. Championship Match
    Justin Gabriel vs. Jack Swagger (champ) that's where Swagger's been? An impromptu match for the title thanks to Long, playa.

RESULT: Swagger retains by making Gabriel submit to the Ankle Lock. Too bad our bonus mach was useless filler. Both tried hard, but the crowd fell asleep. 

VIDEO SEGMENT: The ridiculously embarassment that was last Monday's ending to Raw with Flyin' Zach Ryder and the kiss between Cena and Eve. It gets worse every time you watch it.

Ambulance Match...our main event??!!
John Cena vs. Kane
The Cena-Kane saga continues to drag along (George Lucas is threatening to sue for the storyline) after this past week's embarrassing ending. After seeing Eve hook up with Cena, the heartbroken Ryder was pushed off the top of the stage by Kane in a nasty stunt bump. Two things that this angle seems to be leading up to is Eve turning heel and Cena finding his dark side so he appears to have a chance in defeating Rock at Wrestlemania...perhaps turning heel in the process. And somehow, Ryder and his heat got dragged into this mess so hopefully this is the finale so we can see the Woo Woo Woo kid back in action soon.

Don't give me that look, Cena. The fans are the ones who are forced to watch this horrible angle!

RESULT: Cena slammed Kane into the Ambulance after he gave him the AA off the top of the vehicle. I just made it sound way more exciting then what it was. It actually felt drawn out and didn't solve anything. Ok so Cena won. How does Ryder or Eve or Kane play into this? The bad news kiddies is that this does not appear to be the end of this dark side crap. It felt like 2011 all over again with Cena's music playing as the PPV comes to an end.

You again, huh?


I will never understand why Vince has more than six PPVs a year and the EC PPV so close to Wrestlemania. It takes the shine off the Royal Rumble winner, which hurts the importance of that PPV greatly. If anything, the EC would be the best PPV to have before Summer Slam, since they ditched the Money in the Bank PPV in July...their best PPV of last year. Hmmm.

The title match to start the show was exciting and really helped kick off the festivities, albeit a bit surprising opener since this one was technically hyped as the card's main event. The Divas match was pretty good and felt meaningful and it was nice to see Henry, Christian and ADR returning to action. However, the Smackdown EC match should have led off the show and the Ambulance Match should not have been the main event...especially since it was lame.

 Therefore, I am going to have to score it in halves. First half gets a B+ but the second half sucked the momentum away. This one suffered from the "too many PPVs too close together syndrome AKA filler PPV" syndrome and was certainly not helped by the dead Milwaukee crowd either. Meh, I guess I would've been bored if I was there too. Hope you all saved your pennies for 'Mania and Vince, please cut down the PPVs. Please.

What did you think of the Elimination Chamber? Would love to hear your honest thoughts in the Comments section below!


Aaron said...

"I will never understand why Vince has more than six PPVs a year and the EC PPV so close to Wrestlemania."

Because he's fucking greedy and wants to make as much money as possible. I didn't watch this PPV, but I kept up with the results and it sounded terrible. Great Khali and Santino in the main event? Really?

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