I have loved sex comedies since I first (illegally) saw Bachelor
Party in the 80’s. It started a trend of watching teen romps such as Hardbodies,
Malibu Bikini Shop, Fraternity Vacation, Last American Virgin, Miracle Beach, Ski
School, and the like during the USA’s Up All Night era. In the late-90’s,
this goofy yet enjoyable subgenre went the way of dial-up modems, when low
budget production companies started hiring adult film stars to appear in softcore
pornographic films for outlets like "Skinemax". The
new breed of skin flick comedies is nice for eye candy purposes, but they are also extremely boring and
unwatchable as a real comedy. So imagine my expectations when Hollywood Sex Wars from
director Paul Sapiano arrived at The Man-Cave’s door a couple weeks back. I’m a
glutton for punishment, so I figured I’d give horror flicks a little break in exchange for
some cheesy T & A, expecting 96 minutes of torture. Now imagine my surprise
when I actually wound up enjoying it!
Hollywood Sex Wars follows two factions in the never-ending Los Angeles gender wars. Team Male is led by Johnny Eyelash (Mario Diaz),
recruited by pals Max (Dominque Purdy), Glen (Nicholas Mongiardo-Cooper) and
Aaron (Richard Blair) to help them score hot chicks. After years of hooking up
with average females and head cases, these three friends turn to guidance from Johnny,
who is the town’s top ladykiller. He teaches them the ways of modern day mack
daddiness to bait, lure and score the high end ladies who have been consistently eluding
them for far too long. The Eyelash playbook works for his pupils and is extremely effective.
On the other side of the battlefield are the Wendys (Eli Jane
and Jenae Altschwager), both spurned ex-lovers of Eyelash. They have formed
their own group, the TOB, to scam rich guys out of their bank roll using their good
looks and sex as weapons. Every hot chick in southern California needs a true Sugar
Daddy and usually lands one, but the strategy behind the TOB is for the female
to firmly be in the driver's seat of the relationship at all times by duping their prey. So the Wendys are definitely the ying
to Johnny Eyelash’s yang. When the two sides go head-to-head, anything and everything
goes! The old adage that “all is fair in love and war” is flung out the window
and into a rotten gutter.
A few good things that this flick has going for it are the funny characters and situations, plus it answers the universal question of what an ecstasy-infused
episode of Benny Hill would look like, in one particular standout scene. Dudes can also learn how money they need to spend on women in order to access certain tiers of sexual favors in return. The film never has a dull moment, over-saturated with
plenty of nudity, drug humor and gross out moments to indulge. More suited towards the male demographic, some
females could enjoy the victories their Venus counterparts gain over the men
in certain situations. But at the root of it all, this is pretty much a guy
flick.
A social satire on the recent dating arena's events happening in L.A.,
Sapiano’s effort feels like a true return to those 80’s sex comedies that I
hold dear to my heart. Hollywood Sex Wars is available for sale on DVD today! Or WATCH IT ON iTUNES OR AMAZON ON-DEMAND!
RATING:
 |
| 3.5 out of 5 Creeper Santas |
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