Thursday, July 29, 2010

Booze Reviews: Gulden Draak

Subject: Gulden Draak

Brewing Company: Brouwerij Van Steenberge N.V.

ABV: 10.50%

Location of Purchase: Frontier Saloon in Folsom, PA (6/30/10)

Date of Consumption: 6/30/10

Analysis: My friend Dan wanted to me buy me some nice new brew to try for my birthday last month and Gulden Draak caught my eye above all others on this particular evening. The unique bottling was certainly an eye-catcher but the 10.50% APV was what sealed the deal.

The bartender served it to me in a tall glass which had to be poured very, very slowly to avoid the creation of an easily created large head. Once poured, I was enamored by the beer's dark and reddish color as well as the distinct aroma.

The malt taste is a bit sweet, although not overbearing, with hints of fruit. It was hard to distinguish what type of fruit because this Belgian brew's alcohol can be tasted above all else. In fact, the taste of alcohol got noticably stronger the closer I got to the bottom of my glass. That's not to say it tasted bad. I am simply trying to say that this is a real deal beer and one to experience, not one to slam down.

In fact, the only bad point I can make about this beer is the price tag, which is a bit hefty considering it comes in a four pack. But I did not have to experience this economical pain due to the fact that Dan treated me to some good Belgian product in honor of my birthday.

Final Verdict: I would buy this again in a heartbeat and will do so in the near future, but only under the right circumstance. Again, it is close to 11% ABV per serving so throwing back some of these on a night out on the town might not be the best idea. My tolerance is above average when it comes to alcohol and I was feeling the effect halfway into my first glass. Two glasses later and I was set for the night. So pardon my French, but be careful with this gem because it can knock you on your ass. I'm serious. I have been really liking my new venture into Belgian brew the past couple of months as all have been enjoybale experiences. Gulden Draak is no exception and just might be my favorite experience so far.



Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Read about my achy-breaky heart! Heartbreaker Blogathon!

Zach over at Z for Zombies , a hilarious and entertaining blog I have followed since its infancy, recently had a blogathon in which several bloggers were recruited to write their own cinematic heartbreak story. I was among many bloggers who shared a confession of sadness and heartache towards a film that just didn't pan out the way it was supposed to. You always remember your first heartbreak, so please come share in my misery.

You know the drill: please go check it out, comment if you like and I will even rasie the stakes to offering a whole dime to anyone who leaves a comment (instead of a whole nickel). It would make my day and counsel me through re-living this sad, sad tale. And of course I won't look more like a loser than I already am. (sob, sob) Don't be afraid to check out the other awesome bloggers testimonials as well - they were all fantastic!

Please check me and his royal kickassedness Zach out at the link below and get your tissues ready:

Z For Zombies: Come watch Geof cry his bitch ass to sleep!

The A-Team (2010) - a pity da' fool review

"In 2009 a smart ass was sent to Corporate America by an ever increasing amount of bills and financial aid for a type of job that he didn't really want to do. He promptly escaped from a maximum security reality to the Philadelphia underground. Today, still wanted by Corporate America, he survives as a blogger of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find him, maybe you can read Enter The Man-Cave."

Sounds like a pretty catchy intro doesn't it? And a bit familiar? Yeah the A-Team changed up some wording and ripped it off from me. I forgive them though. It's in the past.

Let's get serious and talk about the film now. I have been looking forward to this remake since I posted the first released production still on this site late last fall. When the trailer was first released, I was a little taken back by the heavy CGI-infused clips. It wasn't what I was expecting the film to be at all. Let's just say that as time got closer to the film's release, the less excited I got about it and it fell into the "see you on cable" category. I'm a true blue A-Team fan, so I figured to be one of those disappointed moviegoers if I paid to see this one. So I decided to skip out.

Those plans changed when my wife, who is in mad love with Bradley Cooper (Philly-holla!), enticed me enough to give it a go in the theater. And I am glad I did.When I found out that Liam Neeson, Sharlto Copley and Bradley Cooper, three actors who are on my cool list, were going to be playing Hannibal, Murdoch and Face, I was more than thrilled. But no one could fill Mr. T's shoes as B.A. Baracas in my eyes, and I feared that was going to be a major problem.

The remake's well chosen cast

The A-Team is a summer action yarn that takes place in an alternate A-Team universe. Not as extreme as last year's Star Trek, but by simply having it take place in current times and using the original mythos to build a story of its own. This is evident early in a scene with the original A-Team van.

The film has an exciting extended opening sequence that details how the guys meet and team up (not being punny either). There is also a hilarious scene on how B.A. develops his arial anxiety. The rest of the film deals with the group being setup "for a crime they didn't commit", their escape and serving up much needed vengenace.

You definitely get a whole lot of action. It's a fast paced film that barely gives you a chance to catch your breath. As another positive, you also get some great comedy too but as a negative, a love angle that is thankfully short and does not detract from the story. The main thing that sold this flick on me is the incredible acting.

"I love it when a plan...blows up"

In all seriousness, Liam Neeson is one of the greatest actors of our time (from my perspective) and he plays a Hannibal that would do the late, great George Peppard proud. Even under the makeup and wig, Neesoon gives it his all by soldifying the film's message of the benefit of having a "plan". Speaking of which - what is unintentionally funny later in the film, is when Hannibal, AKA Master of Disguise, goes incognito with an appearance that makes him look exactly like Liam Neeson himself. Again, I think it was unintentional but it serves a reminder of who the man behind the makeup really is.

He looked just like this in the scene I previously mentioned

Bradley Cooper plays a more vocal and foul-mouthed version of Face. The best thing about him is that you can tell Coop is having a ball with his role and that projects well to film. Some professional reviewers have called him annoying with how he acts in his part, but it's just Bradley Cooper doing what he does best and that is the type of portrayal I was expecting in his turn as a new Face.

The best acting out of the entire cast goes to Sharlto Copley. Easily. There were times when he had me and the entire crowd cracking up. The casting department gets mad props from me on their choice for wild man Murdoch. I liked the guy ever since last year's epic District 9 in which as a relative unknown, his performance took the film to the next level. In fact, District 9 was one of my top films selected in 2009's ETMC It and Shit Awards for Best Film and Copley was a big part of that honor. In another hilarious part, Copley has to use a South African accent at one point for his disguise and therefore uses his native tounge to speak. My wife and I kept looking at each other and saying "Fook! Fookin' prawns!" ala District 9.

Now we come to Jackson as the iconic B.A. Baracas. Surprisingly, I accepted his performance even though Mr. T will always be the real B.A. to me. I don't know whether it was his idea or the creators' idea, but Jackson does not even attempt to imitate Mr. T...thank God! He takes on a different persona for B.A. Sure he is tough and strong but he exemplifies more emotion and compassion in his role. If he started acting like T saying "I pity da' fool" etc and so forth, that would have killed this flick in a heartbeat. He has seamless chemistry with the rest of the cast, so I give him credit for trying to fill some unfillable shoes by doing his own thing.

No please don't hit me, T! You will always be the real B.A!

If I have to nitpick at this film, I will say that Jessica Biel is the real annoying one in this film, not Cooper. And no offense but age is starting to show on her face which is exposing her lack of acting talent. The creators could have grabbed any decent looking female for that part and had the same type of output. Her mouth also looks like Jack Nicholson's Joker from 1989's Batman. She has a good body and all but I never saw the big deal about Biel (I'm a poet and didn't know it). But I guess if Justin Timberlake mounts you, then you soar into stardom. Her performance was one-dimensional and her involvement in the film was annoying but not damaging.

"Wait til they get a load of me..."

As stated earlier, The A-Team is an action, popcorn flick that was great to experience on the big screen. I am not usually one to drool over SFX and am not a fan of CGI, but they served the purpose well here. As a longtime A-Team series fan, I recommend this film to other A-Team fans and action film junkies. This exceeded my expectations and was a worthy reimaging by paying homage to the source material. It was also good to see the band back together again in some fashion.

ETMC Extras:

- Don't make the same mistake I did and make sure to stay through the end credits. You will get to see some original series cameos.

- At a convention in 2000, Dirk Benedict told me that he, Dwight Schultz and T were filming an A-Team reunion film dealing with the loss of Hannibal (Peppard has passed on at this point) and clearing their names for good. What happened to this, Dirk? I love ya and all but were you pulling my leg?

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Quarantine sequel plot revealed (ugh!)

"Someone get me back in Dexter!"

I detest the U.S. remake of REC, but decided to post an update here on the sequel's plot for those who are interested. This installment further separates itself from REC2 and sounds like another sequel no one asked for but its being made anyway. By the way, the makers of Flight of the Living Dead called and want their plot back.


We recently learned that the "Quarantine" sequel, which is called "Quarantine 2: Terminal," is already filming in Los Angeles and will take place at an airport with a cast comprised of Mercedes Masohn (Red Sands) and Josh Cooke ("The Closer," "Numb3rs"). Today we have the official plot synopsis for the film.Plot: The follow-up picks up later that night at LAX, as passengers board a flight to Nashville. When a passenger becomes violently ill with a mysterious rabies-like virus, the plane makes an emergency landing at a large metropolitan airport. Jenny (Masohn), a heroic yet inexperienced flight attendant, takes charge of the safety of her passengers. Relieved when a swarm of heavily equipped emergency vehicles, police units and the CDC arrive, Jenny and the passengers soon discover that they have been quarantined and are now trapped. Desperate to escape, Jenny enlists the help of one of the surviving passengers, a kindergarten teacher, Henry (Cooke), to devise a plan to survive.

"Quarantine 2" is directed by Josh Pogue (writer of "US Marshalls," "The Skulls" and "Ghost Ship") from his own script. The film will likely go straight to DVD and Blu-ray.


Sounds as appetizing as those airplane meals they serve me when I sit in coach. Which is fitting for a shitty remake.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Electric Avenue Review: Dead Air (2009)

When I read that Dead Air starred Bill Moseley and featured "flesh eating maniacs", I was immediately drawn to it like a moth to a light. The Mose pretty much insures a good time for all but ever since I saw Evil Bong just because his name was on the marquee, I started using caution. And with that, I bring you ETMC's secnd installment of the Electric Avenue Reviews.

After a chemical gas is released at a sporting event, the spectators go all 28 Days Later on the outside city spreading the infection and causing major havoc. The Mose plays radio shock jock Logan who learns about the outbreak from panicking callers. He and his staff use their hit show to educate listeners on the developments as they occur.

The Mose is a model of consistency no matter the film

The first 30-35 minutes of this film was some cheesy fun, but too many other factors sank it to the bottom shortly thereafter. I feel bad saying this about director Roger Dorn, I mean Corbin Bernsen, but if you are going to blatantly rip off "the infected" of 28 Days Later and even dabble in the waters of Pontypool, please don't make it a serious film. This should have been a fun and goofy ride all the way. It was heading there at first but then abruptly changed course for the worse.

The film gets to a point where there are no more interactions with the "infected" and becomes more of a hostage flick. Throw in a terrorist angle that becomes the centerpiece of the flick and a dab of political messaging about stereotypes and Muslims...and you have a pretty wasted film on your hands. Sorry Bernsen, I love ya' but you and The Mose could have accomplished so much more.

Come on, Dorn! What's with this Olay bullshit?!

Limited budgets are understandable and that's not my issue here. The issue is that this film is played dead straight (not being punny) and rejects the cheese factor that it had going for it in the beginning. The Mose gives it his all and bring his usual on-screen charisma but the film itself didn't help back him up.

Another issue is that the film seemed to be unnecessarily padded out for the ending. It was several minutes of nothing that led to a very lame and predictable conclusion. It might have been setting things up for a sequel but a continuation is not necessary or even welcomed from my perspective.

Remember that the more Eddy Grant Heads the worse the film is, so with that in mind, Dead Air gets:

out of 5.

Watch 28 Days Later and Pontypool instead, whether it's out in da' streets or out in the playground and give this re-rehash a skip. Unless you are a Moseley completist like myself.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Booze Reviews: Rodenbach


Brewing Company: Brouwerij Rodenbach N.V.

ABV: 5.20%

Location of Purchase: Beer Garden in Media, PA (6/6/10)

Date of Consumption: 6/20/10

Analysis: Muddy-brown, kinda sweet, had a wine-like, fruity taste (Iknow that sounds weird but it is good) , not a lot of carbonation, didn't produce a large head in a hefeweizen glass. Still new to Belgian brewing but this is the best new beer I have tried in 2010. Goes down nicely and alcohol is well masked. The slight sweetness is delicious and refreshing which leads to it being a beer requiring at least three servings per seating.

Final Verdict: I wept when I finished my last beer in the pack and immediately invested in more. Great taste and another grand slam for Belgian brew. Good for a night out or to enjoy at home. Price is a bit high but it is worth every penny for each drop that comes out of the bottle. Run, don't walk, and go track Rodenbach down.


Wednesday, July 21, 2010

ETMC Lands on the Planet of Terror

And it is one of the coolest plans I could ever land.

My blogger bud James Cortez has recently posted an interview with yours truly over on his truly awesome site Planet of Terror. If you want to learn a little more about me, ETMC and some other little known factoids, I encourage you to check it out if you have a chance.

If you need more motivation, I will give anyone who visits the link below and comments on the post a nickel. A whole friggin' nickel!! That way you can buy some gum from the candy machine and I won't feel like such a loser. Fair trade, no?

So please go smoke some PoT!! Thanks much! ;)

Mr. 300

I have reached a milestone recently that I would never thought I would even get close to sniffing: 300 followers on ETMC. Michael Jones of My Two Yen Worth became the 300th follower a short time ago and thankfully alerted me in a comment.

This is not a self-indulgent post or meant to be "look how f'n cool I am" type of information. I simply wanted to give a HUGE THANK YOU to each and every one of you followers. Without you guys, I would have never reached the 300 mark and or worse yet, would have quit blogging a long time ago. Whether you frequent often, comment, link , or whatever else...your support for ETMC never goes a day without genuine appreciation and gratitude.

So thank you all once again. This Bud's for you peeps!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

ETMC wins a truly meaningful and versatile award!

In my recent hiatus from the bloggersphere, I missed out on an award given to me by my awesome blogger bud Rondal over at the Strange Kids Club. He presented me with the Versatile Blogger Award and being that I pride myself on ETMC's versatility, I really appreciate receiving this one. Especially coming from someone like Rondal.

Rondal and I are so on the same wavelength that is pretty f'n scary. We have many of the same likes, run on the same paths in the bloggerpshere and has interviewed some of the greatest blogs on the planet (still waiting for my interview R-Money to make it official, haha) that I truly appreciate as well. I mean this in all honesty, if you have somehow not visited one of the coolest blogs in the land, I urge you to check out the Strange Kids Club...for strange kids like me.

Now here are the rules for the award:

- Give thanks to the person who nominated you - Muchas Gracias mi hermano Rondal!
- List 7 things about yourself - Haha I get to bore you
- Give this award to 15 of your favorite bloggers - I'm doing 8 blue versatile blogs instead

So I covered SKC, now on to me. I'm not sure what I am supposed to talk about, so I will just write what comes to my mind:

1) I lived in the Philly area for 15 years then moved to Florida for 13 and have been back in the Philly area up to now. Guess I missed my real deal water ice, cheesesteaks and soft pretzels. Plus I prefer snow over destructive hurricanes.

2) Former Philadelphia Flyer and good guy Simon Gagne took me for a ride in his Lamborgini and did 200 MPH on the highway to impress me when he missed the sarcasm when I said that "going 120 MPH is not THAT fast". I thought we were going to end up in 1955.

3) I have worked in the video gaming, television, professional sports, pharmaceutical, network provider, and healthcare IT industries.

4) Pink Floyd is my favorite all-time band with no one close in second place. The music is otherwordly and they are the most influential and underrated bands of all-time. Funny that all of the original band members reunited in my city of Philadelphia at Live 8 in '05, coincidentally the same year I moved back.

5) I know I never talk about it on ETMC, but I love pro sports. I also have an unhealthy obsession playing fantasy sports. NERD ALERT! It's the bane of my wife's existence.

6) Keeping that in mind, I named one of my Cavalier King Charles Spaniels "Chase" after Philadelphia Phillies second baseman Chase Utley - who I admit to having a man-crush on.

7) My wife and I truly bonded on our first date after we started talking about how much we both love horror films. Knew it was a match made in heaven after that.

8) I have a strange superstition that even numbers are luck y numbers - that's why I am doing 8 facts instead of 7.

Now my worthy selections of the Versatile Award in no particular order:

1) The Non-Review - TS is one of the funniest mofos I have not had the opportunity to meet in person. His humor can make me laugh on a really crappy day with his bizarre and awesome take on things. Love his Non-Review posts and 7 Word Weekends too.

2) Just The Cheese - Jamie is a really smart and comical dude whose blog is blowing up faster than a 50 year old with hemorrhoids. I have pimped out his trivia games on ETMC before and I encourage you all to visit his site and take part in the fun.

3) Chuck Norris Ate My Baby - Matt is one of my longtime blogger buds who writes the most entertaining posts out there. Sometimes featured posts are hard to create, keep original and be effective but ol' boy Matty somehow always accomplishes this week after week since I started following him. Another must follow site!

4) Not Worth Mentioning - You want versatility? Look no further than Jesse's site. Every day is a new topic on probably some of the most strange yet original content in the bloggerverse. Definitely a great blogger that comments on other's sites as much as he posts on his own sites. And he does post often. I don't know where he comes up with his stuff but it is always worth indulging.

5) The Kid in the Hall - Morgan has created one of the newest blogs I have been following which did not take me too long to get hooked on. She has a great writing style and we like the same 80's flicks. Please check her out.

6) Life By Chocolate - Another great blogger I cannot say enough about. Robyn has an absolutely off the wall sense of humor and I love it! She has been doing some real good stuff over on her site recently and is an overall amazing writer. She can tell you a good story and make you laugh at the same time.

7) When is Evil Cool? - Chris took a leave from the blog world for some time but THANK ALL that he is back in business. Definitley a great blogger, a just as good blogger bud and a person who contains a great creative mind. He was missed by me, but now he has been back in business and kicking ass. Check out his new site as well:

8) Midnight Confessions - Reverend Phantom has such a well designed blog and has recently been incorporating his hilarious live reviews that need to be seen by all. His live reviews even inspired me to start working on my own video projects. If someone's work is insipring you to be more creative, you know just how talented that person truly is. Rev is also a helluva blogger bud to whom I owe one of my kidneys. Don't ask.

9) Bloggin' Bin Revue - Scot runs a site that is very much in the spirit of ETMC. We are blogs from another blog mother. He's currently on vacation right now (lucky bastard), but you need to check out his earlier posts. His work is great and I love how he reviews some really strange stuff in such an entertaining way. Please subscribe to his ever so awesome site.

10) One Crazy Brunette Chick - Another newer blog I have been following run by a foul-mouthed, crass and brutally honest chick. AND I LOVE HER FOR IT!!!! I honestly mean that in the nicest way. She goes on rants that make mine look like they came from pre-school. Whatever the topic, you know you are going to have some fun listening to her go off on a tangent. She even taught me some new insults that I have incorporated into my own vocabulary. Another can't miss site that's popularity is growing every day. She even went to Freddy in Space to comment on my guest post last month even though she had no idea what the hell Johnny and I were talking about. That's a real example of a really cool blogger bud!

11) Alex J. Cavanaugh - Alex is a wonderful talent and another amazing writer. He recently coordinated the Dirty Dozen of Film that I particpated in last month and even enjoyed my unique take on you know he has good taste as well. A great intellect whose blog you should be reading.

12) Allisonwrites - Allison is not only a great blogger but is also a great personal friend. She definitely writes on various topics and even started up the Burger Blog with her fiancee, which is one of the coolest ideas ever. Even Bobby Flay himself is a fan! Intelligent and talented in writing and photography, she is the complete package when it comes to being versatile. I have mentioned her ad nauseum on ETMC and that is because her blog is one not to be missed.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Amateur Hour: Rockula (1990)

I finally did it. After attempting to watch Rockula a handful of times throughout my life since the film's release, I sat down at down and took in all 80+ minutes. In all honesty, I got no more than five minutes into the film before bailing out. Thanks to the Philadelphia channel THiS and their Cult features on Saturday nights, I finished what had been started several times before.

The only reason that I attempted to watch this so many times before was due to the fact that I am a Dean Cameron fan. Simply because he projects great charisma and seems like a guy who is a really funny and down to Earth guy off-screen. In my ees, the guy is cool as shit and the filet mignon of b-movieland. Summer School (where he played Chainsaw aka me in high school) and Bad Dreams are what most people recognize him from, but I watched the lesser known Ski School (1 and 2), Miracle Beach, and the extremely underrated TV series They Came From Outer Space all because he played the lead...and never disppointed. So I owed it to the greatness that is Dean Cameron to see his performance in the horror-comedy rock musical. And once again, the man hit a homerun.

Dean Cameron. An instant inductee to the ETMC Hall of Fame.

Yep that's right. I said horror-comedy rock musical. Rockula stars Dean Cameron as Ralph, a vampire with low self esteem whose true love Mona was killled many years ago by a pirate with a rhinestone peg leg wielding a hambone. Ralph's dilemna and cause of his insecurty stems from the fact that Mona is reincarnated every 22 years but always meets the same fate after falling in love with him. No matter the circumstance, the end result is the same: they reunite, fall in love, she dies from a blow with a hambone, and he is helpless to stop it. After having some zany conversations with his reflection in the mirror (yes the vamps in the film's universe do cast a mirror reflection), he decides this is the year that he will avoid meeting her and save himself the heartache yet again...until she runs into him, literally, in a car accident which sets things into play.

Ralph, an excellent musician, decides to impress Mona by starting his own band called, you guessed it, Rockula, which includes a bartender (played by veteran actress Susan Tyrell) and late blues legend Bo Diddley. Although this "rock" band plays new wave style music and even rap song or two. Mona's main suitor Stanley, a car salesman type of coffin dealer, learns of her new attraction to Ralph after her reaction to his on stage performance. Through the advice of his very familiar looking psychic (hmm), he learns that Ralph is one of the undead as well as the history behind how to end Ralph and Mona's destined love once again through the film's pirate-hambone running gag.

Can Ralph finally make things right this lifetime around and find everlasting happiness with his true love? Sorry but you have to see it for yourself to learn the outcome...and I trust you will enjoy the ride.

That's some whacked synopsis, huh? Sounds goofy as hell and, well, it is. But Rockula is actually a hilarious and dare I say undiscovered classic cult flick that needs to be seen by a larger audience even more than 20 years after the film's limited theatrical release.

Cameron is awesome as usual in the lead role and carries the film, but the supporting cast is just as good and really backs him up. Toni Basil ("Hey Mickey!") is great as Ralph's sexually charged and overprotective mother Phoebe, but the real surprise is Thomas Dolby ("She Blinded Me with Science!") as Ralph's nemesis Stanley. If Dolby and his technology didn't revolutionize stereo sound as we know it today, he might have had a great career in comedic acting.

Well renowned audio technological genius yet little known comedic genius.

Some of the funniest moments in the film are courtesy of Stanley's commericals in which he advertises the newest in state-of-the-art coffins. They have to be seen to be understood just how zany they are, but Dolby's offbeat performance sells the jokes even further and makes them more effective. He also perfectly executes the role of the jealous nemesis
and the main obstacle in the way of Ralph and Mona's happiness.

Speaking of Mona, actress Tawny Fere is an absolutle knockout who does a great job as the central piece of the Ralph and Stanley triangle. Her acting is believable enough for the role and I am surprised that she did not have a bigger endeavor into acting after this film. She truly is stunning and the outfit she sports in her first concert scene drove me f'n crazy.

Besides the running hambone jokes, Ralph's arguments with his reflection in the mirror or any time Dolby is on screen, there are a lot of other cheesy gags that take it to cult status level and constantly reminds the audience that this film is all in silly fun and not to be taken seriously. For example, Ralph is a vampire but he does not feed off the living. Instead he has a blood bank deliver bottles of blood to him ala a 1950's milk man. And wait until you see what he has to do to prove to Mona that he is a creature of the night. Plus we learn the notion that sunblock protects vampires in the sunlight unless they decide to turn into a bat and fly. Ouch!!

A better version of cover art

So I am sure you are asking "hey dude...didn't you say this was a musical? What about the music?" Well even if you aren't asking , I am going to tell you. The concert scenes are pure grade-A cheddar and while the songs are not going on my iPod any time soon, they are catchy in a Hard Rock Zombies kinda way which will stay in your head long after the film is over. For me, I can't flush the film's title track "Rockula" or the "He's the DJ, I'm the Vampire" out of my noggin. The best thing is that Cameron sings all of his songs himself and does his thing with the utmost confidence even though he would probably concur with me that he does not possess Grammy-winning vocal chords.

Dean does all his own singing stunts in Rockula

The worst part about this film is that I have not indulged the cheesiness of Rockula sooner. The camp/cult factor is up there with Hard Rock Zombies and Rock 'N' Roll Nightmare for example, or even the Rocky Horror Picture Show. If you can enjoy that type of culty film, then you need to see Rockula immediately. If you already have, then you are way cooler than I am.

Time to wrap this sucker up...

The Good
- The legend that is Dean Cameron (duh!)
- Thomas Dolby who proved to me that his talents are limitless
- Tawny Fere (drools), Bo Diddley and Toni Basil
- He is the DJ, I am the Vampire
- Hambone violence
- Arguments with one's own reflection

The Bad
- Why have I not seen this sooner?
- The fact that probably not many other people have seen this yet either
- No DVD release

The Verdict
In an homage to Rockula, this edition of Amateur Hour's scoring system will use instead of the usual from cheese slices, five out of five...


If you can find it, it is worth seeking out and watching... again, if you are down for silly fun and can appreciate films of a camp/cult nature. If your cable provider carries THiS, be on the lookout for it because it has been playing all this month.

No this is not Christopher from the Sopranos

ETMC Extras:
- Rockula is listed as being released in 1990 but it was actually made for release in 1988...and you can tell it is a product of the 80s. The whole time I was watching it, I kept saying to myself "this is too 80s to be a 90s film".

- The reason for the 1990 release date was due to the issues surrounding Cannon Films at the time before it eventually closed down shop for good. While films like Warlock snuck into the market via other production companies, the underappreciated Rockula sat on the shelf for two whole years. Given a bigger release, this review might be positioned about one of the great cheesy cult flicks of all-time instead of one that "coulda been a contenda".

Sunday, July 18, 2010

The Reports of My Demise Have Been Highly Exaggerated

To my ETMC followers and bloggersphere friends:

Just wanted to post a quick update. The last couple of weeks have been extremely busy on both a personal and professional level while my free time was spent indulging material to create posts for this site. Add to the fact that I have been really working hard to start developing original video content for this site, including tracking down the right editing software and educating myself on it, and you can easily see that my time for the bloggersphere at this point has been limited. In fact, the two posts you saw this week were scheduled two weeks ago in anticipation for the hectic pace of life right now.

So my sincere apologies for not commenting back on your posts here at ETMC or visiting/commenting on your blogs or even tweeting back on Twitter. The good news is that I am back up and running and will be around to check out your sites very soon because trust me when I say that I missed read my favorite blogs.

The good news in all of this is that while I am still excited for the future video projects I have planned for ETMC, I have a full lineup of posts for your enjoyment this week starting tomorrow evening. So I hope you have the time to check them out.

Take care my friends and I look forward to interacting with you in cyberworld soon!! In the meantime, click this link and keep an eye on the scrolling text in the ticker at the bottom of the screen.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Booze Reviews: Damnation


Brewing Company: Russian River Brewery Company in Somona County, CA

ABV: 7.75%

Location of Purchase: Beer Garden in PA (6/20/10)

Date of Consumption: 6/20/10

Analysis: I picked this one up simply because it looked like this:

As a horror fan, this looked like a horror-themed alcoholic good time. Usually, I know better than to get brew based on marketing and name, but this one seemed too good to pass up. It also was pretty pricy for a one bottle beer exploration Damnation? Shoulda been called Heavenly-nation...or something like that. As a newbie to Belgian brewing, I had no idea what to expect from this beer, but it was pleasantly surprised. Not a dark beer, but is still a full, strong beer. You could taste the alcohol and you feel pretty damn good after one.

Even though it is not advised, I popped off the cork and waited a few minutes before drinking it straight from the bottle. Look if you are going to buy something that looks as cool and funky as this bottle, you have to at least try it from said bottle. And as I always say, if it feels right, go with it.

A second beer was served in a hefeweizen glass and enjoyed just as well as the bottle.

Bonus to the name, label and packaging.

Final Verdict: Great bottle, great beer. It's an expensive brew but I recommend it on a nice chilled-out day.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

ETMC Salutes Mrs. Roper: Lilly Pulitzer O.G.

Three's Company was my one of my favorite shows growing up, even though I didn't get most of the sexual innuendos and jokes until I hit my teens. Now as an adult when I watch the show, I appreciate it even more. But I can't help feeling bad for the character of Mrs. Roper.

Mrs. Roper was the hippest old lady in California within the Three's Company universe. She was always invited to Jack and the girls' parties, she was always helping them get out of jams when they were in trouble and she always was up for going down to the Regal Beagle to get her drink on. And her dresses were the 1970's version of Lily Pulitzer. She was like the Lily Pulitzer O.G.

When the day was done, all she wanted was some lovin' from her hubby Mr. Roper who she affectionately called "Stanley".
On the other hand, Mr. Roper was always more tired than a hypoglycemic patient. He never wanted to lay the pipe down with his woman except when he wanted her to do something for him. It really was bizarre. I mean, isn't the man always supposed to be the hornier one in the relationship? Isn't that how the stereotype goes?

Well I have questions for Mr. Roper. Not only does the man not pleasure his wife, but he also a discriminate mofo against homosexuals. Or was he the one who was really hiding in the closet? Let's look at the evidence shall we:

1) He never wanted to be intimate with Mrs. Roper, ever. And for her age, Mrs. Roper seemed like a major freaky-deak. So what was the issue?

2) Mr. Roper was WAY too excited about Jack and his faux alternate lifestyle. He was ok with Jack living there but not if he was straight. Ket me say that another way: he was ok with Jack living there if he was gay. Hmmm.

3) Mr. Roper, who could use several sessions of diversity and sensitivity training, also could not turn down a chance to call Jack a "fairy" or "fruity" any time he got a chance. Seriously, the man always needed to take a shot at Jack's sexual preference and took the stereotype to the next level.

4) Mr. Roper loved to do his "fairy" impression, but liked to do it way too often, And he did it very well. Too well. Like someone who is very, err, extremely comfortable with their sexuality.

The verdict? I'll leave that to you to decide, but for someone who liked to take insensitive shots at homosexuals, he was certainly living out loud with his "fairy" impression.

Which takes us back to poor, poor Mrs. Roper. She deserved better than Stanley.

ETMC salutes you Mrs. Roper. The hippest old lady in TV Land and the innovator of Lily Pulitzer designs. Remember ladiesto respect Mrs. Roper...because Mrs. Roper was pimping Lily Pulitzer before Lily Pulitzer was "cool".

Friday, July 9, 2010

Pink Floyd the Wall...or is it Peep Floyd?

Happy Friday Party People! I stumbled across this madness on youtube and wanted to share because I love Pink Floyd and I love the film Pink Floyd: The Wall. Thise who know the film will get it while others will be WTF?! Either way, the creator is talented.

Enjoy and have a great weekend!!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

I NEED TO SEE THIS! Dinner For Schmucks trailer.

I saw this trailer at the theater this weekend and have not been able to stop laughing. This looks like it is going to be funny as hell. Carell, Zach G., Paul Rudd...sign me up!

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Happy Birthday to Me with a Camera: The gift that keeps on giving.

Hope everyone had a fun Fourth of July!!

My absence from the blogosphere last week was due to lot of work-related activity, personal issues and
a little thing called a 4-day holiday weekend. It was also my birthday, so as you can see I was just a tad preoccupied. While I did party like a rock star this weekend, I also managed to get my birthday gift too. After getting some gift cash from the wife and her mom and pulling together money of my own, I finally got a brand new Canon HD camcorder and a tripod.

Too lazy to take my own pic, so i borrowed this from letsgodigital.

I could not be more pleased with the product for the money I spent and that seems to be what I said the last few times I bought camera equipment by Canon. The CRP was even a few hundred dollars higher, but I got that money shaved off via the store's 4th of July sale. This sleek, black gadget is lightweight, compact and has 32 GB internal memory. The LCD touch display is extremely easy to navigate and great for keeping all of your camera options consolidated into one area instead of being in the form of buttons scattered all over your physical camera.

Time this weekend was dedicated to reading the manual and learning the ins-and-outs plus the strengths and weaknesses of my device. Other time with the camera was spent getting used to lighting and framing limitations. Still trying to perfect the zoom as well. The bad thing is that I might have to return my tripod and get a more sturdy one. But if that's all I am displeased with, then I feel I'm in good shape with my purchase.

So that's pretty much it. I got to brag about my gift, but the main reason for this post is to let you all know that this camera is going to be used for some great projects both on and off ETMC. So please be on the lookout for those upcoming projects in the near future.