Thursday, April 22, 2010

Day Three of the VH1 Best Cruise Ever

This was the busiest day out of the four, but I mean that in a good way. Day three was the Grand Cayman excursion day. I have only been to the Cayman Islands one other time many years ago. I brought my fishing poles down with me for a fishing adventure...but then it rained and ruined my trip. Today was a day that was going to erase those bad memories, except for the fact that it f'n rained again! But I wouldn't let that ruin my trip this time.

Our excursion consisted of a trip to Hell, the Tortuga Rum Factory, the Turtle Farm, and a trip out to Stingray City to swim with the savage stingrays! And all in the pouring rain. That's ok because I have been told that I am the type of person who could have fun at a funeral.

Hell is one giant tourist trap. It's basically the "South of the Border" of the Cayman Islands. Hell is a giant rock formation with a post office and gift shops close by. I picked up some postcards from Hell that I will be putting in a soon-to-be-announced giveaway.

Bow Down Slaves!

You know what disappointed me the most about Hell? I could not find my residence there. People always tell me that I have an estate built for me in Hell for the way I act sometimes. Well then where was it?

Then I had four shots of rum at the Tortuga Rum Factory. Then I had a couple more. Rum makes me go bat-shit and do weird stuff like this here...

My Drinking Buddy

I thought the next stop, the Turtle Farm, was going to be lame. It wasn't the coolest thing I have ever done but it was alright.

Turtle signals a Touchdown!

This turtle looks like he wants to smack a bitch

The best part of the Turtle Farm was the gift shop. Why the gift shop? Because they had a hilarious sale on Men's shorts. The hilarity stems from the fact that they used what appeared to be a woman mannequin. I mean what pair of men's shorts sports camel toe? Look for yourself...


People were looking at me like "wtf is he taking pictures of that for?" Well, for ETMC of course.

Then it was time for the trip to Stingray City. The whole ride to the sandbar, it rained and the waves were rough. The Gilligan's Island theme kept playing my head. I predicted to all of the passengers on the boat that by the time we got to Stingray City, an Act of God will cause the rain to cease so we can have fun in the ocean. And my prediction was correct...but I can't take all of the credit because it was the rum talking. Everyone was so freaked out to get in the water except for me! I was the first one in.



Check out my underwater photography skills

Then it was back to the boat. I am sure you are all excited because you are reading this post to read about the bands. So let's talk about the Lifehouse concert that was moved to the Atrium from the Lido due to rain. An interesting move.

Then I felt the pain of band members who were being stalked on the cruise. You see Jules and I were being stalked and having creeper pictures taken of us at the Lifehouse concert...



... Steve and Cathy who were taking pics above! Haha!

It was 5pm and time for sushi once again! We ran into Jason Wade from Lifehouse in line to get some grub. Apparently he is a sushi fanatic like we are. We talked with him until it was time for him to order, but this time I got my pic with him. Real nice guy.

Jason Wade and Me

After sushi, we got ready and met Amy and Chad in line for the SafetySuit-Shinedown double header. I didn't get too many pics of SafetySuit this time around because I was seriously rocking out!!!

After a quick intermission, we noticed a woman who was sucking on a man's nipple for three minutes, no exaggeration. It was horrifying and made me think of Clint Howard rubbing his nipples to "I Need You" in Little Nicky.

Within minutes after witnessing that horror, the Michael Myers mask was placed on stage next to the drums, which meant it was time for Shinedown!

In the past year or so, Shinedown has become a real favorite of mine, even though they got trashed in my post about them last month. They led off with "Sound of Madness" which is a song that really gets me going crazy.

Tattoo-arm Guy (inside joke)

Like them or not, Brent Smith is a quintessential frontman who has a great storytelling technique on stage that really draws in your interest. He told a touching story of his uncle at the Lido show the previous night before the band played "What A Shame". And his "Rise" game was fun to participate in. You will have to see them live to learn what that the game entails. Then he makes you do it again right before the band goes into "Fly From the Inside".

They kicked serious ass on stage and played the longest shows of anyone on the cruise. If you saw Shinedown play at the Lido and/or Paris performances, you got to see a full Shinedown concert. They left it all on the stage for the fans.

How did we feel about it? Jules and I were going crazy. What about our friends...

Amy and Chad...Check!

Stay tuned tomorrow night for the finale of the trip. After that, it's time for ETMC to return to its regularly scheduled broadcasting.

One final note: Nick! Here's another gift for you. So how many points do I get for getting my cake cut in Hell?


Pat Tillett said...

What a great trip! Sounds like a lot of fun...
Did you get the stingray's phone number?

@llison said...

I want to hold a turtle. I hope you yelled this when you arrived there:

I wonder how many pictures exist of you carrying a purse... rum-filled or not.

TS Hendrik said...

That first turtle picture is friggin aweseome! The turtle looks jazzed to be in the picture. lol

The Frog Queen said...

LOL! Kissed a stingray...not many people can say that. You are my kinda crazy! :D Glad to see you had such a great time. Really enjoyed reading these posts!!


Static said...

Sounds like fun, even the trip to Hell. I had no idea Hell had a post office. Satan must be proud...too bad he didn't get the memo that email is faster.

The only Hell I've visited, was Brooklyn, NY.

Erik said...

can you pick me up a pair of those shorts from the giftshop?

Geof said...

Pat - Unfortunately no. She told me that she's not into legs.

Allison - If I saw that video before I went, I totally would have said that. I lol'd when I saw that. "I Like Toit-les".

TS - That turtle did not look thrilled at all.

Frog Queen - Glad you hung around for all of them.

Static - I have a feeling the climate in Cayman's hell might be better than Brooklyn. And I think the people of Brooklyn would agree.

Erik - If I did, they would be yours.

Powdered Toast Man said...

I love and hate reading about this amazing cruise. I haven't been to a concert in awhile and I need to rock out. Damn you Geof!!

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