Hello Dear.
Compliments of the season ,My name is Morine Lorna I am 23years old girl. I found your contact and picked interest in you. I wish to know more about you .Please don't be offended i have a special purpose of contacting you . Dear i am waiting to hear from you so that i can tell you more about mineself.Remember the distance or colour does not matter but love and kindness matters alot in life I will be happy to seeing a good responds from you thanks from my heart;
Yours Morine Lorna
MY REPLY...
Hi Morine,
Dear? Oh don't be so modest. Call me what my first girlfriend used to call me: "Big Daddy Sex Machine".
Now tell me, did you get my contact information from Jennifer? Look it's simple: You get in a dipping sauce outfit (preferably BBQ or I could live with Honey Mustard) and I get in a Chicken Nugget costume. Let's not beat around the bush here. Haha I said "beat" and "bush" in the same sentence. Huh-huh huh-huh!
I'm sorry, Morine. Where are my manners? I think you're name is cool and we have something in common. Your parents butchered the name "Maureen" to be spelled "Morine" and mine cursed me by naming me "Geof" instead of "Jeff". Although I like SO have a cooler last name than you. My name means "New Year" in Italian . Like how cool is that? Lorna...well that's like another first name. Not too exciting. What does Lorna mean in Italian? I bet it means broccoli. I like broccoli, especially deep-fried like Okra. You ever try that before? It's so bad for you but SOOOO good!
Listen I am sorry I have to reject your advances and trust me when I say how hard it is. I meant it is hard rejecting your advances, not my...well nevermind.
BTW - I love a woman with no grasp on the English language. "Mineself"? That word is going into ETMC's FAIL Hall of Fame, so congratulations! There's no award involved in the ETMC FAIL HOF except for infinite embarrassment, but at least you'll have that going for you.
And what do you really want? No Credit Card or SSN? You just want me to e-mail you? It doesn't matter. Thanks for entertaining my readers and letting me express mineself to yourself, you dirty diva!
GFY with a chainsaw,
gcap2719
19 comments:
I don't know about anyone else but I truly enjoyed reading this Spam Fail mineself.
My Thoughts
That's it.... I can no longer call you Geof.... It's Big Daddy Sex Machine from now on.... lol
I Think It's Interesting
I LOVE WHEN YOU DO THESE POSTS. You have to come out with a book of 'em.
This one is particularly inspiring... btw what 23 year old girl says "dear" this much?
Hmm, sounds very similar to some spam I received for Viagra, only that spam was way less exciting, and written in North Korean or something.
Wow. She's tossing herself upon you! What woman of the female persuasion could resist a Big Daddy Sex Machine, lol! (that was supposed to be confusingly disjointed... I'm not sure I can butcher the language enough to compete with her attempts)
These posts are always mineself's favorites.
You know, I have been wondering about this 'Geof' thing for some time...
I think you are starting to repeat yourself. Didn't you do the chicken nugget bit in another spam fail? It's still funny.
My nickname is big daddy sex machine too. what are the odds?!?!?
Ha, I did the same thing myself a while back to one of these e-mails: I told them I would report them to somebody if they ever contacted me again! The silly e-mails stopped.
This post was hilarious!
Hey, just wanted to let you know I gave you a shout out today.
Jerry - you made mineself very happy
ASBLACK - It would make this writing this post all worth it if I get called Big Daddy Sex Machine by anyone moving forward.
Copyboy - The book is already in process.
Lisa Marie - the kind of 23 yr old who is not a 23 year old and prob some 50 yr old male foreigner trying to pull off a scam. lol
B-Dub - those are the worst. If I can't translate it, it does me no good.
Kristy - Yeah it would be hard to botch up the English language that badly without just flat out making words up.
TS - Thanks! Mineself appreciates that in the deepest part of mineself's heart.
Joe - I have no answers if you ask. They did it do torture me, that's pretty much it.
Powdered Toast - Repeat mineself? That's the point of those lines. I think you are not reading the whole post. That's why the link is there so you can go back to Jennifer. I told Jennifer and I'm telling her that's it real simple...chicken nugget and dip if you wanna get with Big Daddy Sex Machine.
The Film Conn - I hope they don't stop. I need these to channel my anger...and some (like this one) are hilarious. Reading this awfulness brings me such joy.
Copyboy - I will go check it out.
BAHAHAHA this is great. I love the canned names they always use for this shit.
Why were my nicknames always Spazz (after my last name) and Ally-Baba? I want some cool ass sex name!
You so should have initiated a relationship with Morine.
She seemed like such a nice goil, if I do say so mineself. All she wanted was a responds.
Bloody Vikings!
I just got an email from a Russian chick who included a picture. Not bad, but I'd be afraid of dangly bits down below.
HAHAHAHA! I could read this stuff all day Geof, sincerely!
Amazing...
lol ohhh man.. You must be on ever "Im hot, single, and ready for international love" spam list ever made.. I think you should start your own website where spammers can pay to send you more requests for some good old fashion Man Cave lovin
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