This Day in SPAM MAIL FAIL 1/28/10

Dear Friend,
How are you today? Hope all is well with you and your family? I hope this mail meets you in a perfect condition. I am using this opportunity to thank you for your great effort to our unfinished transfer of fund into your account due to one reason or the other best known to you.
But I want to inform you that I have successfully transferred the Cheque out of the company to someone else who was capable of assisting me in this great venture.
Due to your effort sincerity courage and trust worthiness you showed at the course of the transaction I want to compensate you and show my gratitude to you with the sum of $900000.00 (Nine hundred Thousand United States Dollars) I have authorized the finance house where I deposited my money to issue you international certified bank draft cashable at your bank.
My dear friend I will like you to contact the finance house for the collection of this international certified bank draft. The name and contact address of the Person with your Cheque Dr John David is as follows.
CONTACT NAME: Dr John David
EMAIL:mailto.johndavid@gala.net
info.johndavid@yahoo.com.hk
At the moment I am very busy here because of the investment projects which myself and my new partner are having at hand. Finally remember that I have forwarded instruction to the finance house on your behalf to send the bank draft to you as soon as you contact them without delay.You are to contact him with the following information.
1.Your Full Name;
2.Your Home Address:
3.Your Telephone Number:
4.Your Place of Work and Address:
5.Your Email Address:
6. Age:
7.Sex:
Please I will like you to accept this token with good faith as this is from the bottom of my heart. Thanks and God bless you and your family. You should also know that you will be paying for the delivery of your cheque.
Hope to hear from you soon.

Your's Faithfully
Mrs. Patricia Lawal



My response:


Dear Patricia,

Can I call you Patty? Great!

Thanks for reminding me about not finishing this bank account fund transaction. You know I still haven't kicked that AJAX-snorting fetish of mine and those blackouts keep happening right along with them.

Yeah I can contact the Finance House. Do you know if they have an extra room where I can crash the next time I go on my AJAX bender. I don't need much, just a room and floor. Hell I'll take the closet if need be.

Where was I? AJAX? No. Right - money. Thanks for spelling out what $900000.00 is in words. Because you know I have problems putting commas in money amounts. Oh wait - no that's you. My bad.

Ok so all I have to do is pay for the cheque...doh! Now you got me doing it! It's check, dammit! Check!

"From the bottom of your heart?" "Good Faith?" "God bless you and your family?" You know that if there is a hell, you are building a mansion down there trying to take advantage of computer-illiterate and elderly people right? So with that being said...

GFY with a chainsaw,

gcap2719