Sunday, January 3, 2010

Amateur Hour Returns: Death By Engagment (2005)

Something old, something dead, something borrowed, something red.

I really have to wonder why I do such things to myself, like watching this type of crap. Even when I should know better. Yes I know I have posted that question before, but I keep doing it because I have yet to find an answer. Until I do get answer, Amateur Hour will continue to live on.

This movie-watching exercise was no different. The plot was just so crappy that I simply could not resist. In short, women who wear a particular engagement ring after accepting their proposal also accepts getting slaughtered by a mysterious killer. Except it is not that mysterious because you see the killer the whole time...who by-the-way is pretty much ripping off Alice, Sweet Alice.

So for 100 minutes, we get someone getting engaged with the cursed ring, then getting murdered by a weirdo sporting a Alice, Sweet Alice mask and then the two most unbelievably portrayed cops ever track down leads to put things together.
Rinse, wash and repeat. There is a link between the killer and the ring's recipients throughout the film...which winds up being extremely lame.

Don't point your gun at me PJ. I'm the real victim here.

The acting is atrocious, but that should be expected from any movie that is filmed with the same quality as a Skinemax porn. But believe it or not, there are some recognizable faces like PJ Soles (Halloween, Rock and Roll High School) and lesser known Ryan Hansen from the Friday the 13th remake.

Death By Engagement is a horror-comedy that is neither scary or funny at all. And just when you think the ending is imminent and complete with a twist, the "twist" is that the film gets dragged out needlessly for another 15 minutes. It just couldn't quit while it was ahead. I take that back - it was never ahead to begin with.

And there is a real oddity about this film that I wanted to mention. There are a couple scenes that end with certain cast members going totally out of character and breaking down some gangsta talk. For example, one scene ends with a WASP-y young girl (Julian Berlin - hot) ending the scene with a deliberate "Playa!!" even though she spoke completely normal the whole time. If these instances were an attempt at humor, then it failed. Speaking of FAIL...

The Good:

- There are some beautiful women in it. Julian Berlin is very cute!

- The character "Bobo"

- The out-of-nowhere street talk and the masseuse sex scene

The Bad:

- This is just not a good movie and it's filmed like a Skinemax flick

- Not scary and not funny in the least

- The fake ending that gets dragged out for 15 minutes

- You could not find less believable cops in a horror flick

The Verdict:


It's not a very serious movie but it's not a very good one either. This film is not for the weak of forehead. Avoid!!!


Zacery Nova said...

Ryan Hansen, of Veronica Mars? Interesting...

Geof said...

Zack - I never watched Veronica Mars, so I wasn't able to ID him from there. After recently re-watching the Friday remake, I remembered him from that flick only.

Carl (ILHM) said...

Epic fail = I'll take your word for it and avoid this one. Too many other shitty movies to watch in the mean time =D

Chris O. said...

Well, thanks for taking the bullet on that one. I would've added to my que if Netflix had advertised it to me. Now I know.

Geof said...

Yes Carl and Chris...AVOID! AVOID, AVOID, AVOID!!!!! Please.

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