Monday, November 30, 2009

Man, this ain't my dad...this is a cell phone!

I am in Chicago working round the clock whether on the floor at a trade show or wining and dining with clientele and colleagues alike. Posts will be sporadic over the next week or so, but let me offer a great Monday morning pick me up. If you haven't seen this before, you will thank me later.

If you don't laugh at the cake really have no soul!

Your Monday Pick-Me-Up!

Sunday, November 29, 2009

These dogs are barking!

What's your prediction for Geof's time working Chicago?"

"My prediction? PAIN!!!"

As I mentioned in a previous post, I am in the wonderful town of Chicago for a mega convention over the next week. The good news is that I get to enjoy the fulfilling nightlife that Chi-Town has to offer, with parties and events. The bad news is that oxycodone is not legal because I could really use some right now and Alleve is just not cutting it.

No I'm not a drug addict. I am talking about the need to cure the aching of my feet. See, I have to stand on pure concrete (with $0.01/per 20 sq. ft. carpeting) and walk all around the enormous complex for some 11 hours straight. Then there is another hour/hour-and-a-half wait in the taxi line. So yes my feet are a little sore. Actually, they are Uber-SORE! These dogs are barking!

I teach hockey every week which requires me to skate on my blades for close to three hours without sitting down at all and when I come off the ice, I can run a mile. That tells you how much anguish I am experiencing now and will be for the remiander of the week. I sat down to finally write my review for Paranormal Activity and all I could type was: "The couple in Paranormal Activity had it easy. They didn't have to stand on concrete for 11 hours at a time for 6 days straight. And they feet didn't feel like they were eating the rest of their legs." So as you can see I am not in the right frame of mind to do that right now.

So if you think I am being a little girlie-mon and telling me to call the waah-bulence or some shit...I challenge you! I challenge you to stand on some damn concrete in your tight ass (but baller) dress shoes for 11 hours straight with no breaks for 6 straight days. Will you accept the challenge?

If not can you at least send me some pain killers for my barking dogs? Pretty please?

(ETMC Disclaimer: Geof does not advocate the recreational use of pain killers and is only venting because his feet are Throbbing harder than Gristle.

Secondary Disclaimer: Geof is not a fan of the band Throbbing Gristle. In fact, Geof never heard from them before until he just did a google search to find something that throbs and didn't want to write anything with sexual allusion

Third Disclaimer: Geof is not a fan of Throbbing Gristle because they suck or anything, it's just that he never heard their music before and cannot give an opinion on whether they are good or not. So hopefully no Throbbing Gristle fans were offended because no intentional offending remarks were made.

Fourth Disclaimer: Geof never refers to himself in the third person like The Rock or Rickey Henderson or even Terrell Owens. Geof is only doing so because all of the blood from his head has rushed to his broke ass feet.)

Thursday, November 26, 2009

I was lied to about Twilight: New Moon

Took the wife to see it this weekend and I was so pissed! None of the scenes I wanted to see were in the trailer I saw. See for yourself...

The New Moon I wanted to see!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

The Hills Run Red (2009) Review

"You youngin's will never know the hell of reel-to-reel editing"

There is nothing better than to stumble across a film that I never heard of and fly into it blindly. Anyone who reads ETMC regularly probably already realizes that, but I just cannot help the thrill of the anticipation in the event that I pick out a winner or a dud...and it's usually the latter. But I always hold out hope that I will make a great find instead of something Amateur Hour-worthy. In this case here with The Hills Run Red, my initial feeling was that this was going suck and indeed end up as another Amateur Hour entry. I even had the title for the post ready to go: "The Hills Run Brown...with shit!". Come on, you have to admit that's funny.

The film's title (The Hills Run Red) is the name of the legendary and proclaimed "most violent" horror film ever within our story. Unfortunately, the film was lost and never to be found again along with the cast. After finding the late director's daughter (Sophie Monk), an eager film student (Tad Hilgenbrink) and his friends set out on a quest to find the film and watch the legendary reels.

While the DVD cover art gives the illusion that the film is going to be another entry in the backwoods killer genre, Hills goes a different route. The film within the film is about a killer named Babyface who slaughters campers ala Jason Voorhees but at the same time is a bit of a ringer for Leatherface. Personally, I think Babyface is a pretty cool killer with a neat back-story. I'd tell you more about his story, but it is part of the twists and turns of the film and this review is spoiler-free. One thing that separates him from the pack is that he has no qualms taking out anyone with any available weapon - including a handgun.

This Babyface... ...Def not this Babyface

Somehow Babyface hops out of the Hills' film canisters and into reality to perform some real life slaughtering. Or was he really killing people all along? I'm not spoiling anything because I encourage you all to see it for yourselves. I figured everything out about halfway through, but that's just me. It didn't take away from the impact the rest of the film provided. I will mention that the ending was really f'd up and non-conventional, so...ETMC Warning: Remember to stay through the first minute or so of the end credits to see the "full" ending.

Non-conventional endings always score high points with me, but so do hot chicks. This is the Man-Cave and all. Sophie Monk provides plenty of TNA to get the guys' attentions. In all seriousness, I had no idea that she was a pop singer overseas and that she pretty much plays the "blonde" roles in other films. So let me say that she really gives a great performance and is welcome back to the horror genre anytime she would like, IMHO. And I truly say that based on her performance. Seriously.

This Monk... ...Not This Monk!

blood-n-guts factor in this one is high, so gorehounds will be very pleased. Let's just say things get REAL messy from start to the very finish. One scene that sticks out in my mind involves trees and barbed wire that was f'n nasty. Must see cinema! My wife and I both kinda laughed at it, but in a good way - not to mock it.

Let me confess something. As soon as I saw who directed this film, I could not wait to tee off and hit this flick with every damning shot I could get in. You see, Dave Parker is the same director who brought us the very fanboy-ish and god awful The Dead Hate the Living. Cringe-worthy in every sense of the word, we are treated to such annoyances with lines like "What would Bruce Campbell do?", multiple close-ups of a Fulci Zombi bumper sticker and an ending straight out of The Beyond. The whole film is so in your face with the horror references, that you want to yell out, "Alright dude, we get it. You're a genre nut. Now please concentrate on making a good film for yourself". There has never been a film that made me want to go out and punch someone in the face with frustration except that film. But Hills really caught me off guard and I wound up enjoying it. It was the sort of "different" I needed to see and Parker really redeemed himself.

Some side notes:

- I was happy to see William Sadler's name in the credits because I think the guy's a great actor . Some of my favorite films of his that I can think of off-hand include The Shawshank Redemption, Tales From the Crypt: Demon Knight and The Mist. Sadler has a small, but slick role as the director of Hills, Wilson Wyler Concannon, who died ten years before the events of our story.

-This the third time I have reviewed a film with Tad Hilgenbrink in the span of three months. Amusement, The Lost Boys 2: The Tribe and now this film. Tad is popping up everywhere in the genre. Definitely ups his game here from his effort in The Tribe.

- Oh yeah and an encore...

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

A Very Special Edition of "Enter The Caption!"

Same game, different name!

Quick note: "Caption This" will be called "Enter The Caption!" on Enter The Man-Cave moving forward. I figured that I should give it a bit of a different name since "Caption This" seems to be used by everyone and their mother. Now onto the festivities...

Why is this a special edition of "Enter The Caption"? Because this is a real picture that was taken by my friend as her friend's Penn State Nittany Lion-themed van (affectionately known as "The Viking"), well it, get the picture.

So enter your best, funniest caption below...

Monday, November 23, 2009

Weird Dreams...

The funniest thing happened when I got home today and sat ond the couch for a little while. Suddenly I was Batman and chasing down Tommy Lee Jones. I told him that he is the lamest Two-Face ever. Nicole Kidman was all up on my wood. Jim Carrey was overacting as usual. Then...I woke up. You see, I had dozed off on my couch and Jules had Batman Forever playing on the television. Pretty random, huh? I am not a sleep therapist orn anything but I guess my subonconscious transmits things that I would hear while I am awake into my dreams.

Has that happened to any of you before? If so, I would love to hear about it. Usually when I ask people about this, people deny that it has ever happened to them. I don't know if it really has never happened to them or if they are too embarassed to admit it.

A few other times this has happened that I can recall:

1) One time when I was with the Flyers, I had just worked a 16 hour day then went in the next morning for another 8-hour shift. I got home, started typing a paper for grad school when all of a sudden...I was being shot at by some asshats while I was skiing down a mountain. The mountain came to an end and I flew off of it. A hang glider shot out of my backpack and I started hang gliding all over the place while the James Bond theme blared in the background. I was like 'yeah hang gliding is easy as hell, and I never took lessons. I rule!' Then I woke up. I had fallen asleep at my laptop while a James Bond movie was on.

2) One time I dozed off and I was on the Conan O'Brien show. He kept asking me questions that I had no answer to. And then the audience would laugh. He kept referring to me as Matthew McConaughey but I kept telling him who I really was. I kept asking him why he was asking me all of these irrelevant questions. And the audience laughed again. I was getting really pissed off. So pissed off in fact, that it woke me from my slumber. I had dozed off while Conan was on television interviewing, you guessed it, Matthew McConaughey. I laughed my ass off for like ten minutes.

Again, if this ever happens/happened to anyone, I would love to hear about it.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Left For Dead 2 Review. "I Startled The Witch...

...and then I blew her damn head off!"

Last year, I saw the trailer for Left For Dead (L4D) and knew right away that I needed to own it. Originally I wanted to buy it for the PC, but the demo ran so sssslllooooowwww on my laptop. I didn't have enough coin to buy a new laptop, so I settled for the next best thing: an XBOX 360. As a longtime Sony Playstation loyalist, I broke down and joined the Microsoft nation just to have this game.

I have grown to love my XBOX 360 and can't remember the last time I booted up my PS3. Even if I never used my XBOX 360 again after I was tired if playing L4D, it was worth purchasing the system for the several months I played this title. I'm not a big online player, but I always had friends come over and go on a zombie slaughterfest in the Man-Cave. From that aspect, this was by far one of the greatest games that I have ever played. And I am not the only one. Gamers, both hardcore and casual, and lovers/non-lovers of the first-person shooter genre raved about the game. That could only lead to one inevitable sequel.

The sequel takes places during the same zombie apocalypse as its predecessor except that we follow four new characters through five new locations in the Southern U.S. Oh and don't let me forget to mention that there are new weapons, laser scopes for accuracy, and (my personal favorite) melee weapons. Melee weapons include the (AWESOME) chainsaw, cricket bat, guitar, and even a frying pan. One of my favorite gameplay moments so far was to arm the chainsaw and charge the Horde. I don't think they even touched me as I made cadaver cold cuts out of those fools.

Melee Weapons Pwn!

Besides the zombies, the same super undeads have returned including the Hunter, Smoker, Tank, Boomer, and that f'n Witch! The Spitter, Charger and the Jockey are the new superbaddies on the block. Each baddie has their own specialty that will annoy you as you try to make your way across the landscape. There are also more gameplay options in this year's title as well.

Whether you are playing online, in your Man/Woman Cave with your friends or flying solo in campaigns, remember to heal the other members in your party and make sure they are using the best weapons. Trust me, you need them at full capacity for the later battles or else you are guaranteed to be zombie food.

You vs. Zombies in a Mall? Feed Your Inner DOTD Lust!

If you love horror movies, especially zombie flicks, and always had a desire to throw yourself into a zombie flick without the risk of actual physical harm - then run, don't walk, to play this game as soon as possible. So far I have beaten three of the levels in solo campaign and I am itching to finish off the final two. Let me end this post and get back to surviving the zombie pandemic.

(review based on the XBOX 360 version)

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Attention to EMTC Followers in the CHICAGO Area....

Hello Friends,

I will be traveling to Chicago for an entire week from 11/27 through 12/3 to particpate as a presenter and demonstrator at a major trade show. If anyone in the Chicago-area would like to do a meet up, I will be free in the evenings with the exeption of a couple of days. I already had one with my friend Allison a few weeks back in VA and it was a much so that we are planning another get together when I head back next month. I would love to meet more of you bloggers in person if I ever get the chance, so I am sending an open invitation.

If anyone in the Chi-Town area wants to hang out, post here and we can coordinate later. Or contact me via e-mail:

Take care and as always - thanks for reading!!

Friday, November 20, 2009

TGIF...for me!

My last post was on Monday. Why? Because my week was busy as hell. For those interested, let me provide a quick recap:

- Monday: I posted a review on The Tournament and then Jules and I decided to purchase a Gazelle, so we can work on my fitness. She's my witness.

No not this Gazelle

- Tuesday: I was running for a position on my Association's Executive Board, so I had to prepare my case for consideration along with my other running mates. That lasted from the time I got home until work until about 11pm. But the presentation was world-class. I came home, watched V (which gets better every week) and then crashed

Word up...Always.

- Wednesday: Election Day. Yours truly was named the Communications Director for the Executive Board. That and $1.00 buys me a bus ticket. Just kidding. My community needs some restoration projects so I am more than happy to assist in these efforts. At the end of the day, the better your community, the higher you can set your sale price. You know?

- Thursday: Work, then doctor's visit, then dentist's visit (no cavities again!!!). My poor wife has been working day and night on a project for work, so I made us a nice pasta dish. We watched some shows and then bedtime.

- Today: Work, follow up doctor's visit, and home. Jules is watching Bride Wars while I blog right now. Luckily there are no needles around or they would be in my ears.

- In between all of the listed events above on Tuesday-Friday...Left For Dead 2! Cannot get enough of it. Review coming.

Zombies are no match for my markmanship!

So I'm back in the Bloggerverse and will be around to check out my #1 peeps' blogs.

Monday, November 16, 2009

The Tournament (2009) Review

No this is not a scene from Pulp Fiction 2

After overindulging myself in horror films throughout October, I wanted to do a little change-up in my film genre intake. I received an e-mail from Blockbuster informing me of a Blockbuster-exclusive release entitled
The Tournament. I have never heard of the film before, but I decided to queue it after I read the synopsis (more on that later) and saw that bad ass Ving Rhames had a starring role. Rhames is always a good time when he smackign people around and making them his bitches - unless you count the remake of Day of the Dead, for which I reluctantly gave him a mulligan. Oh yeah, my review...

The Tournament
is about an underground competition that takes place every seven years between 30 of the most vile assassins ranging from all over the globe. The game is overseen by a shady corporation that takes bets on the winner from very high rolling clientele. The rules are for their contest is simple:

1) Last man standing after 24 hours is the 10 million dollar cash prize winner.
That's much more then you make playing poker online.

2) If there are multiple survivors alive after the 24-hour time limit, everyone dies and there is no winner.

3) Each contestant has a GPS/time bomb surgically injected into their bodies. This way, the management overseeing the game is always aware of all players' locations at all times. The assassins in the game also have access to the GPS locations of their foes as well.

4) That's pretty much the entire rulebook. The assassins can do whatever they need to do to off their competition.

The film opens with the closing moments of the Tournament from seven years ago. Joshua Harlow (Ving Rhames) becomes the winner after eliminating that year's main tourney "baddie" before having to kill off the runner-up, an apparent friend who is too mortally wounded to continue. Harlow wins the Tournament, becomes 10 million bucks richer and retires from the game to marry the love of his life.

Fast forward seven years later to the current Tournament, we get to learn about this year's favorites from the game's coordinator Powers (Liam Cunningham). And we also learn that Harlow is coming back to defend his title, so to speak. In the time frame before the Tournament, Harlow's wife is brutally murdered in Miami by an assassin apparently sent to kill Harlow himself. Harlow learns that his wife's murderer is a participant in the current Tournament, prompting him to come out of retirement and avenge her death...once he can learn the assassin's identity.

Rounding up the rest of the relevant assassins are favorite Lai Lai Zhen (Kelly Hu), the unwilling participant and priest Father Joseph MacAvoy (Robert Carlyle) and the psychotic Miles Slade (Ian Somerhalder). Unfortunately for the man of the cloth, one of the assassins cuts his own GPS unit out of his body and puts it into some coffee that MacAvoy ingests. Soon all of the assassins are trying to slaughter the confused priest until Zhen explains what is going on to him and then vows to protect him. Meanwhile, Slade runs around killing assassins and innocents like a man who is clearly off his rocker, even for an assassin. His actions establish him as the murderer of Harlow's wife. But is he really?

The real question is who out the lights out in his mainstream career?

This film is fairly predictable, but it packs a whole lotta of action. And that is the important part, not character development or a complex script. You'll have everything figured out well before the twists and turns in the last 15 minutes or so, but you will be well entertained by the time the film reaches the conclusion.

The acting is exactly what one would expect in an action yarn. Rhames plays...well, the usual character Rhames plays. Hu, while being extremely beautiful, shows why her claim to fame is her small and non-speaking role in X2 as the female Wolverine. What she lacks in the thespian arts she makes up for in toughness because I do believe that she performed a majority of her minor stunts. So I will give her credit there for being a tough, yet very sexy cookie.

The two best performances are provided by Carlyle and Somerhalder. I don't ever think I have seen Carlyle "mail-in" any of his performances. I'd even go out on a limb to state that I have never seen him deliver a performance that I would deem as "questionable". So it blows my mind how much of his star quality has diminished after 90's. The man is a great actor and I don't know why he is not in any top flight films any longer. Somerhalder plays as a great villain in this film, but not as good as he does with his Damon character on
The Vampire Diaries (yes I watch it, sue me). One of those reasons is his character's accent. For some reason, the director felt that giving a southern accent to Slade's character was necessary, but it's obvious that Somerhalder kinda struggles with his accent's authenticity. This really makes no difference because the man simply plays a great psycho. When you look at the man eyes...dude looks crazy as hell. Like John Witherspoon said in Little Nicky: "You givin' me the crazy eyes!"

Look! It's Rob Lowe's evil doppleganger

As far as the plot goes: if you are thinking that the story elements sound familiar, you are absolutely correct. In 1994, Albert Pyun made a film called Mean Guns which follows the same concept. Except that the story takes place in a prison instead of an entire city and also contains lower production values. As I mentioned at the beginning of this review, the synopsis really got me excited to see this film. It sounded very similar to Mean Guns, albeit with a larger budget and no Thom Matthews, and that was definitely a driving force to see it.

Watching The Tournament is a really good time and something to check out if you are up for taking in an action film one night. But please rent, don't buy because there is not a lot of replay value. At 90 minutes, the length is just right for such a fast-paced flick. Director Scott Mann really delivered a great product and I would take a look at any of his future action films if he remains in the genre

"Sometimes when I get nervous, I put my fingers in my armpits and then smell this!!!"

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Ewoks Who Get Drunk, Fight and Hump on Live TV!!

How I wish I was home on Halloween to watch these escapades on the Today Show! I'm sure George Lucas didn't agree to this mess.

BTW - those Ewoks are little people they hired off the street to dress like the furry characters for the Star Wars-themed Halloween edition of the popular weekday show. I saw this yesterday and still can't watch it without losing it!

Do yourself a favor and take 2:00 out of your day to see why live television can be dangerous in the link below...

Ewoks do the craziest things!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

The Dick Towel

If this was a real product, do you think it would be a hit? Click the link below...

The Dick Towel

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Caption This!!! (For 11/10/09)

Same drill. Best caption gets an ETMC dollar or a The Boondock Saints 2 movie poster. Or both.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Shows You Should Be Watching: The League on FX

There is reason for FX to celebrate The League

Three weeks ago, I would have never thought that I would be writing another installment of "Shows You Should Be Watching" about FX's new comedy series
The League. Over the past couple months, this show grabbed some great exposure with having hilarious promos air during commercial breaks for its' lead-in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. These promos would depict characters in certain serious situations with their voice-overs being concerned about nothing but fantasy football, like a man mulling over a trade while having sex with his wife and another guy wondering if the funeral home where he is attending a funeral has Wi-Fi so he can look at his team online. While these promos were executed perfectly, I feared that this show would be nothing more than a one-trick pony: a show about fantasy football jokes in real-life settings for 30 minutes.

My one-trick pony fears were erased about ten minutes into the premiere. Let me preface this review by explaining to non-sports fans that this show is neither directly geared to football or solely based around the fantasy football universe. Think Eastbound and Down, where the show is tied to sports, but each episode is more about character interactions in their everyday lives with hilarious results. All you need to enjoy this show is a sense of humor.

The League follows the lives of four friends who are a part of a fantasy football league, which they all take pretty seriously. The premiere starts off by introducing the characters on the eve of their fantasy football draft. The friends include:

- The commissioner of the league Kevin (Stephen Rannazzisi), whose big secret that his wife Jenny (Katie Aselton) really is the operational team owner, which means that she calls all the shots and makes all the transactions

- Drug enthusiast (a nice way of saying stoner) Taco (Jonathan Lajoie) who is also Kev's little bro; plus he's really out there and my favorite character thus far

- Peter (Mark Duplass) whose favors his fantasy football obsession over married life with his wife Meegan (the lovely Leslie Bibb)

- Ruxin (Nick Kroll) whose vow to finally win the league championship is being held back by not only morality issues but the hurdle of having a knockout wife who will not give him any...uh you know...yes, that

- Finally there is Andre (comedian Paul Scheer) who is a plastic surgeon rich with money but a lifelong geeky loser in life and within the group

The dudes with their beloved trophy

Each character brings a great dynamic to the overall show and their chemistry does not feel forced at all. The jokes are crude and push the boundaries even more so then Sunny, which is great because it's on cable and they are given a longer leash to run with. After some research, I found out that one of the creators is Jeff Schaffer, who has written and directed episodes of
Curb Your Enthusiasm, so I definitely see that style of comedy boiling over to his new project.

If you are interested in watching the show, please feel free to jump right in. Some events are setup a little more chronologically than Sunny, but it is real easy to catch up what's going on. However I would recommend catching the re-runs just so you can enjoy the hilarious first two episodes (FX has been running the first two a lot).

For the past few years, FX has been trying their best to grasp some comedy genre viewership since the cancellation of 2003's Lucky (btw - that was a great show I just recently forgave the network for axing). Their recent attempts failed and failed again with the very forgettable Starved (remember that one? Yeah I barely do too.) and Testes. So if The League stays on its current course, FX is going to have another hit on their hands. The League will finally establish that 1-2 comedy punch with Sunny that FX has spent the last few years desperately trying to find.

Here are some the funny promos I mentioned above. See them for yourself:

Funeral For a Friend

Wife Blabbing

Sex and Football

Sunday, November 8, 2009

KiR Edition: Trick 'r Treat (2009) Review (minor spoilers)

"Uncle SAM wants You!"

This edition of Keeping It Reel (KiR) focuses on the highly anticipated
Trick 'r Treat released in 2009, even though it was finished then shelved back in 2007...

I have read some spoiler-free reviews in both blogs and message board alike that consistently seemed to slam this film. Words like "overrated" and "overhyped" or even phrases like "now we see why this film was shelved for two years and released straight to DVD" were thrown out to describe this product. So I have to admit that when I sat down to watch Trick 'r Treat a few nights ago, I was expecting to be severely disappointed after having sky high expectations.

Film is a subjective medium, but I have to disagree the negative descriptions I read. I thought this movie was fun as hell! Maybe because I have a soft spot for horror anthologies? I mean I sat through The Burning Moon and Chillers before, so you can see how extreme my infatuation for horror anthologies are if I sat through those two in their entirety (even though Moon had its moments). But it was way more than that. This film was a slick horror film and delivered something I was totally not expecting.

The alternate ending to Ferris Bueller's Day Off

is broken down into four stories that somewhat overlap each other Pulp Fiction-style:

1) A mild-mannered prinicpal (Dylan Baker) spends his Halloween night delivering a harsher discipline on students outside the classroom walls.

2) In somewhat of an ode to Little Red Riding Hood, a young woman (Anna Paquin) attempts to shred her virginity while staving off a predator on the way to her sister's party.

3) A group of children use an old urban legend to prank a nerdy girl, until things turn for the worse.

4) An old hermit (Brian Cox) battles an unearthly creature in a mano y monster slugfest, literally.

1-4a) A wraparound story with a mysterious little fellow named Sam that links the segments together either directly or through the film's main theme: "Follow the rules of Halloween or face the consequences!"

The first story is somewhat humorous considering the carnage taking place against children, but the entertainment is exemplified due to Baker, who always plays such a great creep. Ever since his role in Happiness, he nails the "creepy man" performances every time. This segment's length is just long enough not to get annoying which is a good thing.

Bet you he wishes he was back in Bad Santa

Paquin's story seems too be completely predictable at first, but a nice spin keeps it fresh. Even though you are waiting for a twist of some kind to rear its ugly head, you might not be expecting something along the lines of what happens. Don't want to seem as if I am giving this segment any major accolades in the originality department because this is the least interesting or satisfying of all the segments.

On the other end of the spectrum, the urban legend story is the creepiest of them all by far. The flashback story of the deranged children is a great setup while the story ends quite disturbingly in the film's present-day. Brooding atmosphere, unnerving sound effects and excellent cinematography make this segment easily the best of the bunch.

"Brian Cox versus Sam" is quite a fun little romp that ends with a nice twist and brings the whole film full circle. Too bad you can see the twist coming a mile away, but it still is a satisfying one. Cox always bring his A-game to the table and his performance in this film is no exception.

Cox is always a good time......that's what she said - "Oh!"

The non-linear narrative is a nice approach to the genre, but is also used very effectively in the horror anthology realm. This film is not Creepshow but it is pretty damn close. At the same time it is nowhere near the bottom of the horror anthology niche either.

I think a major reason why some people might have been turned off by T'rT, besides over 2 years of serious hype, include the fact that is simply is not scary and anyone who has watched a good deal of horror films will be able to accurately predict the twists and turns. Yes it's gory and brutal especially when it comes to how children are treated in this film, but it simply is not "Aaah!" scary. And I don't think that is what the creators intended either. Another reason for some horror enthusiasts' displeasure might be in the fact that anyone who has watched a good deal of horror films will be able to accurately predict the twists and turns. Then again, this is not supposed to be a film like The Sixth Sense, so the twists are not geared to be the main strength.

Besides the aforementioned acting, sound effect and script, another aspect that makes T'rT so great is the fact that the tone of the film feels so different then any other horror film. Sure the source material is borrowed and it does try to emulate Creepshow, but the creators did their best to give the film its own lore and deliver a real "Halloween" holiday film. Watching it the other day made me feel like I time traveled back to last month. I could watch this next June and feel in the Halloween holiday spirit.

Sookie Red Riding Hood

So why was this film shelved for so long? There are theories that include: the studios fear of going up against SAW IV and the company was worried that the team who bombed with Superman Returns in 2006 (producer Bryan Singer and first-time director Michael Dougherty) would lay an egg with this attempt as well. I don't believe either of these theories because October is a big enough month to release a horror film and make a lot of money before running into competition from a SAW sequel. Secondly, it seems ludicrous that a company would shelf a film for fear of failure from a man whose pass-to-fail ratio is heavily weighed in his favor and I'm talking about Singer here (Superman Returns vs. The Usual Suspects, X-Men, X-Men 2, Apt Pupil, etc.) I believe that WB feared the backlash of marketing the hell out of a film that broke the convention in terms of violence against children then releasing it nationwide in the big screen. Just my two cents. This film was too good to be delayed for so long and then be sentenced to a straight-to-video fate.

At the end of the day, we should all be happy that it finally got released and during the greatest holiday of the year. I highly, highly recommend this film and encourage those who have not seen it to do so. Just don't look to be scared out of your wits watching this one and be prepared for something a little different. And please don't let the Riding Hood segment bring down the overall product.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Giveaway Time Again!!!!

Time for another ETMC giveaway to wonderful followers.

I am in possession of 7 movie posters for The Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day. All you have to do is be one of the first seven people to post below. All I ask is that you become (or are already) a follower and comment on one of the things you like about Enter The Man-Cave; maybe your all-time favorite post or something like how wonderful I am (lol).

Contest ends 11/14.

So please sign up and tell your friends.

Friday, November 6, 2009

TGIF - This is a clip from the film Rocket Dog!

This is a quick sketch from SNL's season finale last year with Tracy Morgan. It starts off lame but finishes strong. Happy TGIF!!!!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

V (2009): retrospect and review of episode 1 - no spoliers

"Man, I really hope this is going to be good..."

When I was a little tyke, V was the coolest f'n thing to me on television. Sure the concept was old even back then, with the whole "aliens coming from outer space to invade the Earth and all", but it was executed to be so creepy yet action-packed at the same time. The reptiles in human clothing, aka the Visitors, were scary as hell. They had harmonized voices, reptilian eyes, spit venom in people's eyes, and ate all kinds of animals...their favorite delicacy being humans. The good guys were always the huge underdogs because:

1) They always seemed outnumbered. There were a zillion motherships carrying even more zillions of these bastards and to make things worse, there were plenty of human sympathizers who did not believe all the Visitors wanted from us was our planet's water and our bodies for food. So it seemed to be a poor ratio between the good and bad guys.

2) Their technology was bad ass. Spaceships, lazer guns, bullet proof armor, conversion name it.

Two jokes can be used here: "She's gonna make a great wife with that talent" or "She's so hungry, she could eat a guinea pig." Take your pick.

The original mini-series was played straight and had lots of allusions to the Nazi party and their wrongful, sick oppression of the Jews. The Visitors are clearly portrayed as the master race - even their logo resembles the swastika. Time has not been good to the special effects versus today's technology, but it had a great budget for a television movie that was complimented by powerful acting, a daunting score and a "real"-type feeling to it (for a sci-fi movie, that is).

I also love the sequel, V: The Final Battle, even though some of the subplots like the alien baby are goofy as hell today. The feel of this mini-series delivered even more doses of sci-fi and action then it predecessor, maybe because original creator Kenneth Johnson left the project due to creative differences. Oh well, I liked it though.

The success of The Final Battle led to a weekly series that completely sucked! Thankfully it only lasted a season even though it left a huge cliffhanger. No worries because the show was beyond repair at this point. Too many mini-series favorites were getting killed off each week, while the new characters and new storylines made it into a whole other
type of show. And that was a very bad thing.

Overall, my love of the V universe is because it was my first introduction to Michael Ironside (Scanners, Prom Night 2, and many more films) who played Ham Tyler and Robert Englund who played good alien Willie and then went on to play Freddy "F'n" Krueger! Marc Singer, who played lead hero Mike Donovan, is the reason I found out about The Beastmaster - a cult film that I loved from my childhood. So, 'Nuff said there.

"Where is Kodo and Podo?"

Over the past 10-11 years, ther
e were several rumors of either continuation to the original mini-series or a remake under development that did nothing but provide several false starts and fake-me-outs. I gave up hope after a while, until I saw the trailer for the remake about a year ago. My heart wanted a continuation that ended at The Final Battle and ignored the events of The Series, but I realize that it has just been too, too long now. The original cast is either extremely old or deceased, so hopes of continuing with the same actors would be rather dull. They would have to do the old "hand off to the younger actors" routine which would mean that a continuation would essentially be a sequel/remake with a "new generation" cast. That being said, a remake is a good choice because enough time has passed since 1984 and the concept could use a fresh twist in a modern-day setting with the current state of affairs in our country.

In the wake of all the hype and viral marketing for this new series, let's talk about impressions of the first episode...

First of all, the opening was fantastic. Great setup with the motherships descending upon the Earth, but things were explained way too quickly. In fact, what the pilot showed us in the 43 minutes of actual air time was explained in the first two hours of the original mini-series. We already know the Visitors, or "V's" as they are called in this version, talk peace but are obviously up to no good.

At first I was disappointed and really wasn't feeling the series right away until the last ten minutes. I promise not to spoil anything but there were some very cool revelations/surprises in that time span that look to set this series apart from its predecessor. Needless to say, I am all aboard for the remake and can't wait to see next week's episode. My hope is that it wont lose my interest like Flash Forward already has this season. The next three episodes before the 4-month layover will tell a lot about where this season is headed and if it is heading into a good place or off my DVR.

There are some rumblings going on in cyberspace right now that mention the show's mirroring of true life political issues (e.g. Universal Health Care), but I am just going along for the ride of watching a fun television program. I just don't feel the need to get uptight and woven into political wars when I am trying to watch a sci-fi show for a chance to get away from real life problems for a little while in my day. So if you have heard about this stuff already, hopefully these political allusions won't turn you off from trying out a show that seems to be pretty entertaining so far.

The show is not scheduled to re-air on ABC but it will be available to watch online this Saturday (11/7/09). Fans of the original and scifi/horror fans in general should definitely check it out.

Wow! I saw her in the trailer and thought that things were looking up.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

A Post for Krystyn...

Yes I'm calling you out! j/k - but this post is mainly for you, my wonderful blog designer, blogger friend and awesome commenter.

No one will understand this post except you, but thanks to your useful comments and word verification hating, I have made the ETMC Experience so much better. All you have to do is leave a comment and see if you notice anything different.

To the rest of you........

Krizzy Designs is having some holiday mega-deals right now on designs and printing! You should definitely check it out.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009


I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the gray.
The more I get of you,
The stranger it feels, yeah.
And now that your rose is in bloom.
A light hits the gloom on the gray."

Monday, November 2, 2009

Caption This! (for 11/2/09)

Best caption gets an ETMC $1!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

True Story...The Mile High Club!!

WARNING - The story you are about to read is 100% BS-free. I wish I could make something like this up because if I could I would be doing something else for a living...

Happy All Saints Day! Thought I'd you all a little true life comedy. Last Sunday night after having a pretty crappy day setting up for an event, I took a shuttle back to my hotel. Upon entering the bus, I noticed that there was a family, consisting of a mother-father-son combo, already on board. The kid looked about 11-13 years old range.

So as we depart, the kid makes a mention of the 70s as the era that changed modern architecture in America or something like that. WTF? Anyways, the kid goes on to talk about his flight tomorrow and says something along the lines of "Isn't there something that is called the Sky Mile Club or the Sky High Club or the Mile High Club?" The dad acknowledges that it is called the Mile High Club, while I would have changed topics if that were my son. I bite my lip, as to not start laughing. The kid goes on to ask more about it and things just go downhill from there. I need to paraphrase a little, but let me summarize what happens next:

Kid: "So Dad, what do you have to do to get in the club? Is it hard to get into it?"
Dad: "Yes it is very hard to get into it. You have to be very lucky."

Lucky? OMG!!!

Kid: "So do you have to be rich or have a lot of money?"
Dad: " Yeah having a lot of money really increases your odds of getting in there."

Kid: "Are there a lot of members?"
Dad: "Yes there are a lot of members but sometimes people lie about getting in."

Kid: "Do you get some cool stuff for being in the club?"
Dad: "Absolutely! You get the coolest thing of all."

I start to choke a little.

Kid: "Why are you laughing Dad? Are you lying to me?"
Dad: "No I am telling you the truth?"

Kid: "Well then what do they give out in there? Do you get a massage or something?"
Dad: "Yeah you get the best massage in the world."

Kid: "Well do you get food?"
Dad: "Uhh...not exactly."

Kid: "What do they have a buffet?"
Dad: "Yes you get to eat as much of whatever you want. Good stuff too."

The kid asks the Dad again why he is laughing but Mom does not look pleased. But she says nothing. Kid asks if Dad is being serious and Dad lets him know he is...obviously he is riding this for all its worth.

Finally as we pull into the hotel parking lot...

Kid: "Ok Dad. Are you a member of the Mile High Club?"

Dad looks at Mom who is glaring at the man. He takes what seems like a comedic "beat" and states...

Dad: "No. No, I'm not."

I fucking lose it!!!!

Mom finally looks at the son and says to him...

Mom: "Please stop talking. Just shut up and stop talking already!"

I started laughing so hard at this point that they look at me! I can't believe she yelled at the naive, little kid who was asking honest questions and not at the Dad who was egging him on the whole time. Dad acted like he was doing he was old school Richard Pryor or something.

The shuttle parks and I run out of there like a cheetah. I was dying!!

The next morning, I get down to the lobby at 6 AM (ouch) and ask the front desk attendant where I need to be to catch the next shuttle. She points to the direction of a room off to the side. Tired and miserable, I go into the room and guess who is there waiting for the shuttle as well. I shit you not, that same family. It was like a major caffeine injection - they look at me, I realize it's them and start laughing again. I decide to take the towncar instead because I could not handle that kind of hilarity again on another shuttle ride with this people.

Hope you enjoyed this story as much as I did living it. Again, I wish I could make s*** ike this up.