WARNING - The story you are about to read is 100% BS-free. I wish I could make something like this up because if I could I would be doing something else for a living...
Happy All Saints Day! Thought I'd you all a little true life comedy. Last Sunday night after having a pretty crappy day setting up for an event, I took a shuttle back to my hotel. Upon entering the bus, I noticed that there was a family, consisting of a mother-father-son combo, already on board. The kid looked about 11-13 years old range.
So as we depart, the kid makes a mention of the 70s as the era that changed modern architecture in America or something like that. WTF? Anyways, the kid goes on to talk about his flight tomorrow and says something along the lines of "Isn't there something that is called the Sky Mile Club or the Sky High Club or the Mile High Club?" The dad acknowledges that it is called the Mile High Club, while I would have changed topics if that were my son. I bite my lip, as to not start laughing. The kid goes on to ask more about it and things just go downhill from there. I need to paraphrase a little, but let me summarize what happens next:
Kid: "So Dad, what do you have to do to get in the club? Is it hard to get into it?"
Dad: "Yes it is very hard to get into it. You have to be very lucky."
Kid: "So do you have to be rich or have a lot of money?"
Dad: " Yeah having a lot of money really increases your odds of getting in there."
Kid: "Are there a lot of members?"
Dad: "Yes there are a lot of members but sometimes people lie about getting in."
Kid: "Do you get some cool stuff for being in the club?"
Dad: "Absolutely! You get the coolest thing of all."
I start to choke a little.
Kid: "Why are you laughing Dad? Are you lying to me?"
Dad: "No I am telling you the truth?"
Kid: "Well then what do they give out in there? Do you get a massage or something?"
Dad: "Yeah you get the best massage in the world."
Kid: "Well do you get food?"
Dad: "Uhh...not exactly."
Kid: "What do they have a buffet?"
Dad: "Yes you get to eat as much of whatever you want. Good stuff too."
The kid asks the Dad again why he is laughing but Mom does not look pleased. But she says nothing. Kid asks if Dad is being serious and Dad lets him know he is...obviously he is riding this for all its worth.
Finally as we pull into the hotel parking lot...
Kid: "Ok Dad. Are you a member of the Mile High Club?"
Dad looks at Mom who is glaring at the man. He takes what seems like a comedic "beat" and states...
Dad: "No. No, I'm not."
I fucking lose it!!!!
Mom finally looks at the son and says to him...
Mom: "Please stop talking. Just shut up and stop talking already!"
I started laughing so hard at this point that they look at me! I can't believe she yelled at the naive, little kid who was asking honest questions and not at the Dad who was egging him on the whole time. Dad acted like he was doing stand-up...like he was old school Richard Pryor or something.
The shuttle parks and I run out of there like a cheetah. I was dying!!
The next morning, I get down to the lobby at 6 AM (ouch) and ask the front desk attendant where I need to be to catch the next shuttle. She points to the direction of a room off to the side. Tired and miserable, I go into the room and guess who is there waiting for the shuttle as well. I shit you not, that same family. It was like a major caffeine injection - they look at me, I realize it's them and start laughing again. I decide to take the towncar instead because I could not handle that kind of hilarity again on another shuttle ride with this people.
Hope you enjoyed this story as much as I did living it. Again, I wish I could make s*** ike this up.