Monday, October 15, 2012

Suspended Animation



The Man-Cave is drifting through a world in which reality and fantasy merge into a timeless dream...


Sunday, October 7, 2012

WWE '13 Countdown: Mike Tyson returns to the ring




This news is from last summer, but it is worth mentioning with the highly anticipated release of WWE '13 just around the corner...

The "Baddest Man on the Planet" is returning to our TV screens in the WWE ring in the near future. However, it will be limited to our home video game consoles.

It was recently announced that "Iron" Mike Tyson will be a playable character (via DLC) in the upcoming WWE '13 game due out later this month. This year's game focuses on wrestling's infamous Attitude Era, from the mid-90's through the early 2000's, when the company was bloody, brutal and nothing at all like the PG product they endorse today. So it seems fitting that the recently inducted WWE Hall of Famer from the Celebrity Wing and a man who helped ignite that era be included in this year's fun.


Much like Brock Lesnar's announcement for WWE '12 last year, Mike Tyson is being used to generate massive pre-orders for the game. Considering the buzz around his WWE Hall of Fame Induction last April, this is definitely going to help THQ's initiative in that aspect.

Will Tyson open the door for playable characters of Glass Joe, Don Flamenco and Lil' Mac to settle their longtime feud in a WWE arena? It's very doubtful, but isn't that what the online Community Creations server is for?

In all seriousness, here's to hoping that THQ does not shoot their whole load into the Tyson bucket and will announce more prominent figures of the Attitude Era available via DLC in the near future.




Thursday, September 20, 2012

The Gruesome Death of Tommy Pistol (2012)


Directed by Aramis Sartorio (AKA Tommy Pistol)

Ginger Lynn, Traci Lords, Ashlyn Gere, Stacy Valentine…many adult film stars have tried to make a break into mainstream cinema. Some have been successful and turned out a decent career while many others have failed and returned to their smutty roots. But how many of them can say that they were the star of their own film that was named after them...and was a male adult film star to boot? Tommy Pistol can, that’s who!

After being canned from yet another dead end job, Tommy Pistol’s wife and child hit the bricks and leave him to his own undoing as he desperately tries to make it as a legit professional actor. Once he settles into a nap, the film transforms from a comedy-drama into one of the most bizarre horror anthologies ever made. Tommy’s dreams are split into three stories. In the first, he is a geeky actor wannabe who travels to the West Coast and unknowingly stars in a snuff film. In the second tale, he hijacks an Arnold Schwarzenegger film to disastrous results. Finally, the last tale is about a radioactive spider that bites a porn star and creates havoc on the set.


If you know of Mr. Pistol or are familiar with his work, you will know what kind of gruesomeness, depravity and dry comedy to expect going in. At first, the film comes across as goofy fun, with a crazy nod to Morgan Freeman’s voice over work from Shawshank Redemption, but then downward spirals into being too ridiculous for its own good. Horror fans are REALLY going to hate it because it is labeled as a horror film, yet nothing horrific happens until 35 minutes in! And the horror is nothing more than over-the-top, gratuitous gore and horror of the Troma kind. In fact, this film should bot be considered horror but fall into its own genre.

The fact that the running time is too long and ends on a somber and depressing, out-of-leftfield note that clashes against the grain what we witnessed throughout the film, really makes you wish that it would have finished up as the comedy it was within the first half-hour. It is worth watching once just for the zaniness of it all, and to see how much fun you can tell Tommy Pistol is having with his flick, but don’t expect repeat viewing worthiness or anything that will better your life for watching it at all.


Released by Breaking Glass Productions and Vicious Circle.


RATING:
1 OUT OF 5 CREEPER SANTAS













TRAILER:




Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Bruiser (2000)



Directed by George Romero


Henry Creedlow (Jason Flemyng) has had a bad day and taken one down, but he will need to do more than sing a sad song just to turn it around. His lifelong accountant best friend is stealing his money, he is in over his head with finishing the modeling of his house, his maid is stealing items from him, and his yappy little dog is absolutely annoying. To make matters worse, his beautiful yet bitchy wife Janine (Nina Garbiras) is having an affair with his egotistical and smarmy boss Milo Styles (Peter Stormare - by the way is the most underrated actor of his time. This guy is always so believable no matter the role), who runs the glam publication Bruiser. Add in the fact that Henry's kind and trusting nature makes him a welcome mat to all who enters his ozone, and this guy is a very tragic human being.

After taking home a white mask that he must paint to represent his personality for some odd team-building exercise, he puts it on completely non-decorated and goes completely ballistic when he learns about his wife's tryst. This discovery is his breaking point as he becomes a faceless doppleganger of his meager self and goes on a violent rampage to settle the score with all those who have wronged him. 


Bruiser is a film that seems to really put off many Romero loyalists, as he trots outside of his supernatural comfort zone to do some completely different. The fact of the matter is that while the film is not spectacular, it is certainly watchable and can easily help the audience relate to the core of the struggles that people have suffered one time or another. We all have probably had an unfaithful significant other or a two-faced "frenemy" or a complete jerk of a boss or an annoying pet. But poor Henry has the full deck of emotional disappointments thrown at him all at once, even though he is pure of heart and extremely likable. He is a anti-hero that the audience will sympathize since his trials are completely unwarranted.

The problem is that the film is pretty good until the final act. As unbelievable as it is up until that point, you have to suspend belief to the point as if you were watching a science-fiction film. It brings down everything Romero was building up to until that point, which is a shame because it could have been so much more.

Again, it is watchable and is certainly better than some of his later returns to his zombie pics, but the latter half really sinks it. In a strange way, we like Henry but the Milo Styles character makes the film worthwhile due to a comedic performance from Stormare, who really steals the show. 

Bruiser is not as bad as it is made out to be, but it definitely shows Romero's decline in storytelling execution as the millennium rolled around. His usage of imagery is keen and the moral is meaningful, but it is hampered by zero suspense and the weak final third which makes it more laughable than the exciting revenge flick it sets out to be. 



RATING:   
2.5 out of 5










TRAILER:







Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Ticked-Off Trannies with Knives (2010)


Directed by Israel Luna


Is there such a term as tranny-splotation or maybe trans-plotation? Well if there wasn’t yet, then there certainly is now thanks to Fright Flick’s Israel Luna. His tribute to Grindhouse films, Ticked-Off Trannies with Knives, is a unique film from many you are bound to find out there, and it is not concerning the plot. Using a main cast mainly consisting of transgender actors, this brings a genuine charm and entertainment lacking in a farce like To Wong Foo, even if Patrick Swayze does FTW! 

Pinky La’Trimm (Kelexis Davenport) runs an urban drag bar on the bad side of town and is the mother figure of her employees whose dancing talents bring in the dough for her club. When the sweet Bubbles (Krystal Summers) is viciously assaulted by her abusive, psychotic ex-boyfriend and his pals after they kill off two of her fellow drag queens, Pinky and Rachel Slurr (William Belli) get “ticked-off” and decide to turn the tides against their offenders.


The raw and violent yet somewhat bizarrely comedic style Luna shows off in Ticked-Off is also evident in his follow up, Fright Flick, but this film is easily an extremely more entertaining effort. Apparently, this film caused some controversy when it was released, but did nothing than give this film some unintentional exposure and shine. Controversy creates cash after all - at least that’s what Eric Bischoff titled his book. He also delivers a true Grindhouse feel, with his choice of the film’s look and feel, including both reels that burn or are missing altogether. 

Even if you are uncomfortable with alternative lifestyles you might be not be accustomed to, you cannot help but take to these characters within the first few minutes. These girls are so damn likable, funny and fiery. Considering this is most of the cast’s first and only film credits, you will be shocked about how naturally they appear and perform on screen. Of course, this will also make you feel their pain when they are assaulted and murdered for no reason just because of their choice on how they harmlessly want to live their lives by Bubbles’ whacked out stalker and his goofy pals. But you will certainly cheer them on once they learn how to stand up to their foes and get ready to kick some butt.


Luna is one of the few filmmakers who can make hilarity out of situations when they wouldn’t be funny otherwise. Comas, anal invasion with foreign objects and speech impediments caused by brain damage are just some of the subject matter that will make you laugh while you make sure no one is around to see you do so. So yes, a To Wong Foo and Priscilla: Queen of the Desert this is not. They are not even close to what your eyes will see in this flick.

A combination of a wonderful cast and Luna’s zany direction makes this one a guilty pleasure and a low budget gem. If you haven’t yet, you need to indulge some dark transgender comedy by enjoying getting ticked-off with these trannies in their vicious “drag” race against the cruel and delusional.

Available now through Breaking Glass Pictures at their website.  


RATING: 
3.5 out of 5 Creeper Santas









TRAILER:





LINKS: 
OFFICIAL SITE

BUY IT AT BREAKING GLASS PICTURES

FACEBOOK PAGE




Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Skeleton Crew (2009)


Directed by Tommi Lapola and Tero Molin

If you shoot a terrible horror film and have trouble with finding decent distribution, fear not crap makers, because you always have a good chance of your junk being aired on Showtime Beyond. It might be at 3am on a Thursday night, but hey, maybe there is a reason for that and you should be happy that you get any airtime at all. Enter Skeleton Crew, a film by co-directors Tommi Lapola and Tero Molin.

During the filming of his low budget horror flick at an abandoned mental institution, director Stephen (Steve Porter) and his crew uncover reels of old snuff footage filmed using the asylum's in-patients many years ago. Unsatisfied and under stress with how his production is coming along, like the crews' low morale from not being financially compensated due to his lackadaisical investor, Steven slowly becomes obsessed by what he views on those old reels and decides to make a snuff film of his own. His psychotic tendencies soon make the cast and crew’s concerns about getting paid on Friday the least of their worries.


On the top level, this is a very cool plot in an equally creepy setting. The thought of the finding old, authentic snuff films on a film set that drives the director insane is pretty intriguing concept. Add in the fact that the film stock plus the lighting effects are truly unnerving and you have a fun little flick with a good deal of potential of your hands. Too bad that the film is just awful!

It starts off great after what we think is the actual movie we are watching is actually the in-movie being filmed. Your eyes will roll as it appears to be a run-of –the-mill, patients running the asylum horror flick until Steve yells “Cut!” You will feel relieved as it is all just a setup for a better film awaiting your eyes. Then…the wheels come off shortly afterward.

There are some interesting kills and a lot of gore for the bloodhounds, but the buck stops there. Skeleton Crew begins a downward spiral that continues until the laughably ridiculous final frames. For one thing, two characters drop out of the film and are never referred to again. They actually just vanish with no exit stories. Maybe their agents told the actors playing those parts  to get off the project immediately because it is a stinker. Then there is the deplorable acting from the cast, who appear to be bored more than anything. The only actor having a blast is Porter, who hams it up worse than honey-baked, spewing off too many Freddy Kruger-esque one-liners than you want to count in a projective voice made for community theater rather than on the big screen. And his sporting of a “John Carpenter’s The Thing” t-shirt the whole time is a reference that will make you wish that you  could shut this off and watch that classic again instead of this bore fest.


And that ending…wow. Just wow.

This is one film crew that you don’t want to be a part of, paying gig or not. There’s better bad horror films that are at least fun to watch on Showtime Beyond, so make sure to skip this one. It really tells you how good the film is when the title song (by Doom Unit) is the only worthy takeaway.


RATING...WARNING! YOU HAVE ANGERED THE CREEPER SANTA!!
1 out of 5 Creeper Santas













TRAILER:




LINKS:
OFFICIAL SITE



Monday, September 10, 2012

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band (1978)


                                            Directed by Michael Schultz

Let's flashback to the year 1978. On the heel of mega successes with Saturday Night Fever and Grease, head of the entertainment conglomerate RSO Robert Stigwood conceptualized what seemed to be another surefire hit, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band. Uniting the at-the-time white hot Peter Frampton, straight off his double album Frampton Comes Alive, and the Bee Gees, the act he signed that ignited the disco sensation with Stigwood's Saturday Night Fever, for a musical fantasy based on songs by The Beatles seemed like another one in the win column for RSO. Add in a slew of other major players from that era, such as Aerosmith, George Burns, Steve Martin, Alice Cooper, Earth, Wind and Fire, Billy Preston, and many more, and this was a can't-miss prospect on paper. However, the success of Sgt. Pepper's supposed genius remained on the very paper it was printed on.

Over the decades, Sgt. Pepper with his magical musical instruments solved wars and world crises everywhere he went by making everyone happy and peaceful. Closer to then present day of the film, Sgt. Pepper dies in his town of Heartland during a statue raising ceremony in his honor and the torch is passed onto his grandson Billy Shears (Frampton), who along with the Henderson brothers (Bee Gees) form the latest incarnation of the Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band. Why did the torch passing skip Billy's dad? Was he a strung out deadbeat? Perhaps he was a better shoemaker? Who knows? 


News of the band's talents reaches seedy L.A. record producer B.D. Hoffler (Donald Pleasance), so he recruits them to come to the city in an attempt to sign them. Billy's money grubbing brother and band manager Dougie (Paul Nicholas) jumps the chance to make some extra cash at the band's expense. Billy leaves the love of his life Strawberry Fields (Sandy Farina) behind in the confines of the protective, wholesome Heartland and travels to the unfamiliar territory of sin and temptation, where they are seduced in signing with B.D thanks to the advances of Lucy (Dianne Steinberg) and The Diamonds (Stargard). This leaves Heartland vulnerable to an invasion by Mr. Mustard (Frankie Howerd), led by the anonymous FVB (later revealed as Aerosmith), who steals the instruments and turns the town into a darker version of Fremont Street.
  
Seeing her Heartland in turmoil, Strawberry finds the boys and brings them back home to save the town. They steal Mr. Mustard's trailer-van hybrid and use it to locate the whereabouts of the instruments, all held onto by other FVB loyalists: Dr. Maxwell Edison (Steve Martin), Marvin Sunk (Alice Cooper) and FVB themselves. After finding the instrument Mustard was stashing in his van, the group ventures out to fight the evil forces for Sgt. Pepper's magical musical devices and bring order back to the universe. If the film wasn't already completely ridiculous enough, what proceeds throughout the rest of the film ups the silliness to the umpteenth degree. 


Whatever success the Fever and Grease brought the RSO empire, Sgt. Pepper destroyed it. In fact, the film negatively affected almost everyone attached to it, even those who showed up in the movie's grand finale chorus, like Leif Garrett and Sha-Na-Na. The Bee Gees' popularity dropped and disco started to die. Not that the latter effect was a bad thing. Frampton's career flatlined, Farina never made another film appearance, Nicholas went back overseas, Cooper was in rehab, Sha-Na-Na vanished, the promising talents of Steinberg and Stargard were never realized, and we all know what happened to Garrett. Even the planned Marvel Super Special Comic #7 based on the movie was canned in the U.S. and the only released copies materialized in foreign markets. The only people to crawl out of the ashes were Burns, Martin and Aerosmith. 

The movie was an absolute flop, panned by fans and critics alike. The only people that really enjoyed it were small children who had no idea what was going on, but that was not the intended demographic. It makes you wonder what the heck was going through the minds of those who wrote and produced the film as well as why anyone would have signed on to star in it in the first place - especially already famous talents who did not need the exposure. Besides being cinematic lunacy, the film's story is completely told via voiceover narration by George Burns. There is not one line of dialogue spoken throughout the whole film by anyone besides him. Every time Frampton, the Bee Gees or Nicholas spoke a line of dialogue, Burns' narration was the only thing heard. It was a really bizarre concept that just did not help matters in the least. The novelization fills in key scenes and dialogue to help things make sense, well at least whatever sense that could be pulled from a flick like this, but what is the point reading a book on a film filled with songs 90% of the time?


The only real success that Sgt. Pepper achieved was the double album soundtrack produced by RSO. It was a best seller and many songs were hits in the charts. In all honesty, the quality of the songs adapted from The Beatles are actually fantastic and are enjoyable to listen to. But that is only if you can block out what you remember seeing on the screen. Even Aerosmith's cover of Come Together often plays on classic rock stations nowadays and is viewed as being better than the original by many music critics. 

The other only interesting tidbits to stem from this film are the backstage dramatics that transpired at the time of filming. Besides Cooper's stint in rehab, there are rumors of rampant drug use on the set. Go figure. That probably answers the question of why so many people decided to participate in the project. Frampton and The Bee Gees feuded over who was going to get top billing in the credits. The winner was Frampton, but was he really the victor when you think about it? Since the film's release, Frampton flat out refuses to comment on anything concerning it. Meanwhile, the Gibb brothers have gone on record as to poke as much fun at it as humanly possible whenever they are questioned about it. Aerosmith threatened to walk out on the film when the script was changed to have Frampton kill off Steve Tyler's character. Therefore, it was re-written to have his demise be an accident. Finally, the original FVB (Future Villain Band) was to be KISS, who turned it down due to them feeling that it would hurt their image. Smart choice, but they also turned it down in favor of doing KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park. So that choice was actually like jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire.


As bad as it is, you should all experience the cheesiness at least once so you can fully experience the WTF?-ness firsthand. It is guaranteed that you will not believe what you are watching and feel a little weird deep within your soul once the credits roll. A few beers should help your cause, but be prepared to take a trip down memory lane that many people who enjoy the nostalgia of the decade wish they could forget. 


RATING:
2 out of 5 WTF?














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Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Crank: High Voltage (2009)



Directed by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor


Jason Statham returns as Chev Chelios, the man who dies harder than John McClane could ever dream of doing. In this follow up to the 2006 bizarro fest, Neveldine and Taylor does what they said could not be accomplished and that is to make a film even crazier than the original Crank. But can a retread like Crank: High Voltage actually be as entertaining and fun the second time around? As Chev would say, "Abso-f***ing-lutely!"

When we last saw Chelios, he had fallen out of a helicopter and killed his arch rival Verona in the process before hitting a car and the street below with a major thud. And thus was the end of our anti-hero even though he was guaranteed to die by the Chinese poison anyway, right? Come on, now. If you really watched the first Crank, you know that Chelios does not take things lying down.


A group of gangsters, immediately pick Chelios' just barely hanging onto life body and some sleazy Asian surgeons perform a major surgery to give him an artificial heart and repair his organs. Of course when they threaten to cut off his manhood, Chelios comes back to life like Jason Voorhees after a lightning strike. He is able to escape, but notices that his new artificial heart threatens to shut his body down, much like in the original. After a good call to Doc Miles (played wonderfully once again by Dwight Yoakam), he finds out that it has been three months since Chev's "Nestea Plunge", and that he must keep in-taking electricity into his body to recharge the battery of his new artificial heart in order for it to keep on ticking. And he must get electricity into his body by any means necessary. 

This group that restored his body wants to keep him alive for reasons he has yet to find out. All he knows is that a major kingpin named "The Ferret" wanted the "Heart of Chelios" and now Chev sets off to take back what is rightfully his property and kill the bastards in the process. So no sooner you can say "Not Again!", he is off for yet another series of violent and hilarious misadventures on the streets of California. Same s***, different day for Chev Chelios. 


High Voltage is ten-thousand times more insane than the first installment, and since that film is bat-whack crazy, that speaks to just how nuts this sequel truly is. You really had to suspend your beliefs for the first one, but this time around, things are so beyond ridiculous that you will see this as total science fiction. The movie is that crazy and you will love every second of it. Instead of downing copious amounts of caffeine and drugs to keep the poison from shutting down his heart, now he has to undertake life-threatening tactics to zap himself full of voltage! Makes drinking multiple Red Bull beverages seem like child's play.

Looking like he is not a minute older than he was in 2006, Statham has not missed a beat, portraying his character just as raw as ever. He is the quintessential action star of our generation, and hams it up in the usual "kick butt, take names later" mode that he does in several of his films. For every wowser moment in this Crank, Statham helps sell those scenes to the moon.


Along for the ride are many familiar faces from the original. Amy Smart is back again as his main gal Eve, whose ideologies have changed since she thought Chelios went to the big strip club in the sky. Also returning for the fun is Efren Ramirez as Venus, the twin brother of the one he portrayed in the first film, and Reno Wilson as Orlando, only he is a homosexual now...???? There are even bit parts for Glenn Howerton (Dennis from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia), as the still traumatized medic from his previous run-in with Chelios, Keone Young as Don Kim and Linkin' Park's Chester Bennington.

There are some new faces that are in it for the long haul, including Chev's new enemies Johnny Vang (Art Hsu), who carries Chelios' heart around like a trophy in a red cooler, and El Huron (Clifton Collins, Jr.) who reveals his true motives to Chelios later in the film. Bai Ling is also hilarious in her role as role as Ria, a prostitute enamored with Chelios whose broken English will have you rolling in the floor in laughter. It also seems that the original was popular with many celebrities as well as moviegoers, because this one is chock full of cameos. The late Corey Haim and David Carradine play some funny characters, as well as Lauren Holly, Geri Halliwell, John de Lancie, and Lloyd Kaufman. Finally, there is a role call of adult film actors including Ron Jeremy, Jenna Haze, Lexington Steele, and Nick Manning playing adult film stars...what else?


You will certainly get a charge out of Crank: High Voltage because never have leftovers tasted better than the first serving. The directors keep this film in the same aura of being a video game come to life and making Chev Chelios the best video game character you could ever see kick some tail as they did in 2006.

If you still need another fix of Crank, it has recently been announced that a third one is in the works. Which leads us to ask: what kind of zaniness will be in store for next time?



RATING:
4.5 out of 5 Artificial Hearts













TRAILER:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTmiGLsD_Qs



LINKS:
OFFICIAL SITE

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Crank (2006)



Directed by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor

UK born movie star Jason Statham has been type casted as a tough SOB since his performance in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and rightfully so. The guy is a believably bad mama jamma both on and off the big screen. We are talking about a prematurely balding man who at one time won the heart of knockout Kelly Brook and went on to kick Jet Li’s rumpshaker in The One. Whether it was his role as The Transporter, Turkish in Snatch or as one of the gang in The Italian Job, Statham’s on-screen presence is one of intimidation that demands respect. For him, type casting has been an instant winning lottery ticket over the years as he has appeared in some excellent action flicks and scored a big payload in the process. Even though The Italian Job, Snatch and The Transporter contain his more recognizable roles, his best work takes place in 2006’s bizarre film Crank, directed by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor. 

Professional killer Chev Chelios wakes up one random morning and watches a video left behind by his arch nemesis Verona (Jose Pablo Cantillo) for his viewing displeasure. The footage shows Verona injecting a poison into Chelios' neck, the Beijing Cocktail, in retaliation for his current hit on a Hong Kong boss. This poison marks him for instant doom within the hour, so his time is short. Insane as he is a lethal, Chelios heads out to find Verona and take him out before he expires, learning that he must keep his adrenaline pumping consistently through his veins or the drug will kill him. Meanwhile, his doctor (Dwight Yoakum) is hurrying back into town so that he can help cure him and he must also protect his stoner girlfriend Eve (Amy Smart), who believes that he is a video game programmer and not a hitman, when Verona tries to take her out of the equation as well.


For the next 88 minutes, Chelios stops at nothing to keep his heart pumping, including snorting cocaine from gang members, robbing convenience stores for energy drinks and caffeine pills, bum rushing a hospital for ephedrine, leading a city wide police car chase, driving his vehicle through pedestrian-filled malls, and even having sex in public to be able to continue his quest to snuff Verona and avenge himself.

Like the Chelios character, the film starts off fast and does not slow down until the very end. You have to realize from the get go that this is not the normal action film you are used to seeing Statham in and is purposely exaggerated to the brink of ridiculousness. Crank is more like an over the top video game, ala Grand Theft Auto, where real life restrictions are nonexistent. There are even many references to video games seen through the film. Since he technically has no future, he is never concerned with his present actions and you cannot help but laugh at the chaos he creates or the situations he finds himself in. He is like a human version of The Terminator, which he even refers to himself at one point. In many ways, this film, redefines what an action-comedy should be. Sure there is a heap of gore and foul language, but the flick is nothing more than a next-gen game combined with a graphic novel that has come to life. 


As far as anti-heroes are concerned, Chelios should be among the all-time Top-10 in cinematic history. In all seriousness, Statham is an excellent actor, who is underrated when it comes to comedy due to his action hero persona that he has created for himself over his career. In Crank, he proves that can play comedy and action with the best of them, perfectly cast in the role. Even Amy Smart, is hilarious in her part as well and ups the comedic factor tenfold.

Crank can easily be viewed on Netflix or might even be on your premium cable On Demand channel, so if you are a Statham fan or want to see the wackiest action-comedy film for the ages, don't hesitate to watch this one today. 

Make sure to stay past the credits. Followed by a sequel in 2009, Crank: High Voltage.



RATING:
4 out of 5 Creeper Santas









TRAILER:






Monday, September 3, 2012

Wound (2010)


Directed by David Blyth

In a time when 50 Shades of Gray is introducing a new demographic to the world of BDSM, director David Blyth brings the world of BDSM on acid with a supernatural flair in Wound. His film explores the world from the mindset of a mentally damaged woman named Susan (Kate O’Rourke), who is dealing with the aftermath of lifelong trauma. By day, she is a cold call telemarketer and by night she plays a servant to feeling-less Master John (Campbell Cooley) and slave to her own mental torment.

Susan was sexually abused by her father at a young age, while her mother a great deal of time as her alter ego Mistress Ruth (Sandy Lowe), who all but turned a blind eye to her husband’s incest inhibitions while she got her freak on in her own universe. After brutally murdering her father in an act of revenge, a schoolgirl in town named Tanya (Te Kaea Beri) learns that Susan is her mother and seeks her out to learn the truth of why she was cast off as a child. What happens next is a tale of even more insanity than the previously described content as Susan enters into a breakdown of epic proportions with hallucinations, ghosts and spirits.


Unfortunately, this New Zealand import tries to be the A Serbian Film from Down Under. The film is too slow to keep any real intrigue or interest and comes off very confusing. When you finally piece everything together and get to the payoff, it is extremely weak. Wound aims for being gruesomely shocking, yet ultimately proves that gore can be bore and could have done without the shock value. It was totally unneeded and really took a lot away from the film.

The only saving graces are the otherworldly cinematography and the strong acting from O’Rourke in the lead. She really has you thinking that the elevator does not go all the way to the penthouse every time she is on screen. But you’d be better off skipping it for own sanity. 

Released by Breaking Glass Pictures and Vicious Circle.


RATING:
1 OUT OF 5 STARS













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